Wednesday, February 01, 2006

control is an illusion

just got home from home group... started a men's closed discussion mtg in my small town about 18 mos ago or so.... it's probably the only men's mtg within a 50 mile radius... anyway... our topic this evening was control, how to relieve oneself of that obsession to be in control.. more specifically, how to practice steps 2 & 3 in an effort to turn things over.

Well, let me tell you, we sure had a wonderful discussion... I have not felt this good in a week or so... That's not to say I have been in awful spirits, it just felt good to discuss how my HP helps me with things... It felt good to admit to a room full of control freaks that I have difficulty remembering that control is really only an illusion. Sometimes I forget about that... Even when I think I have control over situations, I really don't. HP likes to remind me sometimes, but I soon forget... It's just that way with an alocoholic.

But, I do know that when I sincerely ask for HP to remove "the bondage of self..." oh, how that one sticks in the throat to this day.... But, when I do that, ti sets up the day. Its like I am in mode of looking for the help I requested of my HP. And so, I am more apt to see things throughout the day as given to me by HP. Oh man, shitty stuff may still happen, but oh, I can accept it and deal with it so much better, when looking through the lenses of a man who's walking arm in arm with his HP.

Step 3 is my fave of all 12, it's the "instant gratification" step... Just as soon as I make that decision to turn whatever over to HP, things improve... The weight is lifted... relief is instant. Funny thing about it is, nothing has changed, except for my perspective. same problem, same circumstances, different approach... ahhhhh

Control is an illusion...

2 comments:

Alexis said...

"Control is an illusion" - awesome quote. Completely true. Step 3 is the Instant Gratification step and my favorite too. My sponsor has made me say the 3 Step prayer every morning since day 1.... sure does help...

Mary Christine said...

Hey Scott! Happy 10 years! That is wonderful.