Monday, October 23, 2006

backsliding

Alright dAAve, let's just get this outta the way right now.... 243... (241.5 last week; 255 at the start) the numbers (and me) are getting bigger. I've no one to blame but myself, slacking on exercise and not eating as well as I should (being busy is a nice excuse...) has resulted in a bigger number. However, I can fix this with the help of HP/God and so We will in due time... I am not going ot get on the cross over this but I have ot say that I do hate having to "do battle" like this. It's sorta like whack a mole... Drinking: obsession relieved; Smoking: obsession relieved; Drugs: Obsession relieved; Lethargy/constact recreation: obsession relieved; Depression: treated and improved big time... Eating/excercising: still struggling... I know this is life and the human condition but, it would be really nifty to be free of the constant battle to rid myself of a major "defect of character." I guess my application for sainthood has been denied yet again HA HA! Maybe that's something I can address at RCIA tomorrow nite, whaddya think MC?

Sheet happens...

Prayer for the day...

God/HP, thanks to You for my continued sobriety and for my good health (relative to my weight, the junk I eat and my lack of exercise. God/HP, help me remember that today, I am trying to take better care of the loaner (my bod) you gave me at birth. I am afraid that at this point, whenI turn it in at the end, you might not like the condition it comes back in... I pray that You might relieve me of the obsession to eat and seek comfort in foods that are unhealthy for me. I also ask for Your WIll and Grace for my family and friends, especially the alkies/addicts who are struggling each day with this disease. I ask for Your peace in our home, that I may be a carrier of Your Message in our home, that I may not be a source of insanity...

peace to all my friends out there and thanks for visiting!

yay Monday!

6 comments:

Gwen said...

I am right there with you Scott. It is bitch this food thang. You can't quit eating. URGH! I am weak with it. I can do short periods of being very good. My food food diet is pretty good ~ my weakness is sweets. Cookies and ice cream. Hard to eliminate with kids and class parties and neightbors with kids. I have NO will power. It is just as bad if not worse than the booze. I can not eat just one and I have NO strength to say no to the first. I am in the muckity muck of it and I am shutting up now cause I am taking up tooo much space ;)

Sober Chick said...

Why is that, so baffling food is. Blahhh, I am ther ewith you and Gwen. I call my ED my best friend, always there when I need it, can be taken anywhere yet it will destry my serentiy and the shell that houses my soul.

Because for once in my life I am connecting to others that share similar struggles, I have hope.

Great share Scott, it will happen.

dAAve said...

I suspect that the overall condition of your body is much better than about 11 yeas ago. Maybe a bit heavier, but maybe that's because you eat now instead of exist.
Don't beat yourself up Scott.
Awareness.
Action.
Progress.

Mary Christine said...

You know that I have struggled too. In the end, I found that, like alcohol, if I don't put crap in my body, I don't crave it. Like sugar, processed foods, white flour, white bread, pasta, etc. But that is MY solution and may not be yours. And as you know, I exercise like a fiend. But that is my therapy to keep the depression at bay, and it works.

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

MC just described my primary food groups. ;-)

AArGGHHH!!!!!!

Hang in there buddy. One day and one defect at a time....

Scott said...

thanks y'all... not gonna beat myself up here, but it is annoying as hell, lol!