Tuesday, October 09, 2007

the older, tougher way...

"...continued to take other people's inventory and gladly pointed out when they were wrong..." That was my former version of Step 10.

I love the fine line drawn by the spiritual axiom found in the pages of Step 10 in the 12X12. "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." Now I know, this awakens the self-mutilating narccissist in me that says "See, I told you, I am always wrong, everything is my fault wah wah wah..." But what I think it might be suggesting is this: It's up to me to make my own good moods. Feeling good is an inside job that starts and ends with me and HP. No matter what is going on around me, I don't have to absorb that vibe or mood. If I don't like the emotional "weather" around me, bring my own "weather" each day... It's a really fine line as there are times when we are wronged indeed. But I think Bill is saying that we can surely let it go, forgive and not let it ruin our entire day. The thing is, as an alcoholic, I simply cannot afford to let other people dictate how I feel, or I will find myself drinking again in short order. I have to work on this :-)

Prayer for today...

HP, help me stay sober today, that's job #1! Everything good in my life requires that I remain sober lest it vanish. Help me remember that I am here to serve You and help others. I pray for our troops, that they might find their way safely home to their families soon. I ask Your guidance and Your presence in the hearts of world leaders that they may find ways to settle differences peacefully. Thank You for the blessings in my life, not the least of which is this whole blogging deal! Please be with my uncle and grandma today!

may the peace of Christ be with you all!

1 comment:

Pam said...

I'm with you. If I can just remain sober TODAY...all else will take care of itself.
PS: I pray for our leaders too :)