As an alcoholic (s0ber, in AA) one would think I would be good at giving things up, reflecting upon my spiritual condition, reflecting upon my relationship with God (HP) and doing things for others, all in an attempt to become a better person, a person more like the image of Him who created me.
And well... I did give up ice cream and that seems to be going according to plan (big deal lol). I have significantly increased the amount of $$ I give to my parish each week at Mass (which when you give barely anything, doesn't take much more more for a significant increase). I made a donation to a charity I hadn't been planning on making. And, I was asked to and am considering sitting on the board of our local YMCA. So, my "almsgiving" portion of Lenten practice is coming along nicely. But, I have to say in all honesty, it has been a struggle to drag my butt to Mass each week. I've just not had the fire in my belly to be there like I had.
Perhaps the "new car smell" of being one of the newest members of the Church has worn off, I don't know. Maybe I am just going through a little flat spot in my religious/spiritual life, not unlike what can happen to us in recovery from time to time. I do need to remind myself at this point that our faith isn't always about feeling... Just because I don't hear violins playing at Mass, or see rainbows and shooting stars when I receive the Holy Eucharist doens't mean "it's not working for me..."
My problem is that I sometimes have specific expectations of things, including "what I will get" from my Lenten practices. Perhaps I ought to focus on what I can bring to Lent, rather than what I can or should get. Hmm, this sounds an awful lot like a reading in our Big Book of AA, written by mr friend Dr. Paul O.
I think I had better go re-read that.
Heavenly Father, thanks for Your most Precious and Holy Gift, Your Son Jesus. I pray that I might draw nearer to You and Him through my actions, prayers and thoughts today. Please keep our uncle safe in Your Care as he rests in eternal peace. I pray that my wife's family might also find peace in this difficult time. Please, help me stay sober, just for today, that I might find peace in my own life and bring peace to others.
May the peace of Christ be with you all!
PS- It's primary day here in Ohio... hmmm who to vote for, who to vote for?? I am grateful for what little voice I have in the political process...