Sunday, March 02, 2008

tagged for a meme

My good friend tagged me for a fun meme. It will take a little bit of research and I will get to it in the very near future :-) Thanks for the tag!

My wife's uncle passed Wednesday. He was 76, well loved and a very sweet man, active in his church, retired and still working part time as a pharamcist and a devout Catholic. He was diagnosed with Cancer about 3 weeks ago and his body gave out very quickly as the Cancer was all throughout his internal organs. Thankfully, they were able to keep him comfortable and he suffered very little, compared to many other poor souls who've had Cancer. He was 76 and he'll be missed very much.

There was a newcomer at my home group this week, complete with breathalizer device attachment from his car. Evidently he had been stopped for DUI in recent days and had to have this device on his car in order to start it. Well, of course, he had every answer, and seemed fairly pleased with himself, that he'd somehow probably get off with just a few days in jail, according to his excellent attorney. And, well we had to listen to a few "war stories" and how he really wasnt sure if he had a problem, even though this was his 4th DUI. He seemed to think that since he was "sober" for 3-4 yrs since his last DUI, he probably wasn't really an alcoholic.
And of course, as he cut in on several other people's attempts to comment on what he shared, he let us know he'd be coming around regularly in order to help himself, even though he really didnt think he had a real problem.
Yup, typical newcomer lol.

It was all I could do at first, in my emotional/mental condition at the time (having just come from teaching my CCD 8th graders and a particularly wild nite with them lol) to not want to tear this smug, righteous, self serving guy's face off, for being out there endangering me and my family (the State Hwy Patrol caught him just outside of the small town I live in). When it occured to me that I dare not judge, for he was me, 12 yrs ago. Now, I have yet to have caught a DUI, but it surely wasn't for my lack of effort. So, I cleared my mind of all things judgemental and tried really hard to empathize, without letting him off the hook. As a result, out came an HP inspired share about how to stay sober and grow in AA, all the while ingoring/deflecting his "I have all the answers" type interjections to what I was sharing. I shared with him that I was grateful he didnt hurt or kill my family, and that I was grateful he had again found the rooms of AA. I hope he makes it and I will pray for him!


vicariousrising said...

My condolences to you and your wife and her family for the loss of her uncle.

ukok said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss, I pray your wife's uncle will rest in peace.

And good for you for being the bigger guy and being patient with the newcomer to your group.

I will pray for him too.

Adrienne said...

Prayers for your wife's uncle.

Don't you just love newcomers?? It's what keeps us sober:)