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I had gotten away from meetings for a brief while this spring and summer. Sometimes we get just a bit too busy and lose our way. Thankfully, I haven't lost mine entirely. At any rate.... I was sitting in my home group meeting this evening, amid a few new "young bucks" along with the "regulars", about 10 which is a good number for my meeting. One by one we shared in response to the newest member's question about why there's always coffee at AA meetings and if there's something up with the coffee, why so many people drink it. Well, that prompted some funny dialogue about obsession, addiction, caffeine, etc. Everntually the discussion got round to more spiritual, pertinent things regarding early sobriety. A couple of the newer guys have been "required" to attend certain meetings and complete certain "recovery based" tasks by the people they "report to" in their recovery house and group therapy folks. Well, they shared how they don't understand why they are made to do things a certain way and how they hate having to do this and that, and how none of it makes any sense...
As I sat there and listened, reflected on what was being kicked around, it came to me. HP led me to realize that my own reluctance to simply do the next right thing, or do what is required of me, (especially when it pisses me off, or makes no sense to me) is simply my own lack of faith. It's like there's something wrong with doing what I am told. It's almost like I ahve come to require a particular outcome in order to be happy, or at least know what's going to happen when I do a particular thing. It's really just a sign of my need for more spiritual practice. It's really a symptom of how my spiritual program has begun to atrophy due to lack of daily maintenance. It happens to us all. Thankfully, my life is immersed in recovery and things spiritual (not by accident, I can assure you). So, even when I don't want to do the next right thing, even when I refuse to practice my program on a daily basis HP give me a nudge... In AA we call it "being in the middle of the bed, so we don't fall out..."
That's the value of my home group for me these days. Young bucks reminding me of the basics of a day at a time recovery. Meeting makers make it... This is one reason why.