Monday, November 09, 2009

I did it...

It's really nothing to celelbrate, I should've gotten this done a looooong time ago but I put it off, put it off, develpoed a nice mental block, put it off some more and finally yesterday I just went and did it. We don't have many more nice weekends left before winter sets in so I HAD to do it. I couldn't go another winter with my shed doors in the state of disrepair they'd fallen into. So, after blew all the leaves out of my landscaping and gave everything a good mow I couldn't delay any longer... I grabbed my tools and got to work. I put up my shed doors (with an eensie weensie bit of help from my 8 yr old son) all by myself. They open, they close, they look reasonably straight and I am just glad it's done. They are a little bit different color than the shed itself, I didn't match well. But ya know what? They look good and they are finally done. I guess I can hang shed doors after all. I was pretty damn well convinced I couldn't. MY wife evne said she thought they looked good. And then questions why I locked the shed lol, with all my "junk" in there and all. I neatly sidestepped the "my stuff is always junk" resentment and informed her I locked the shed to keep the wind from whipping those bad boys open and tearing them off. That's how the last pair of doors was put to death lol.

This shed door thing reminds me a bit of my first 4th Step. I put it off, thought about it, got insane about it, knowing I needed to do it. It ate at me, I put it off some more and finally had gotten to the point where I couldn't even talk about it, much less do it. I finally just sat down one day and began the thing. Within a few days, I had completed my first inventory, my first 4th Step. I realized after all the nonsense I put myself (and a few others) through, that it wasn't really as big a deal as I had made it out to be. In fact, I had caused myself much unnecessary stress over something that really wasn't a very big deal. It wasn't that difficult to do once I got going, and I found out that I wasn't nearly as bad a person as I thought I was. And, I wasn't nearly as great a person as I thought I was. And to boot, all the stuff in my 4th Step was stuff I already knew about Scott. So what the heck was the big deal? Fear... Plain and simple garden variety, bone chilling fear. And it still happens today!

I guess sometimes I need to go through these goofy little self inflicted trials to remind myself to have a little faith and just do it.

3 comments:

enchantedoak said...

Hi, Scott!
You told me this morning that "I need to make my own weather" and I was enchanted, because you put into words how I feel about winter. Need to make my own warmth and sunny skies inside. Thanks for the thought!
Just a thought for you: put in more paragraphs and line breaks in your blog so it's easier to read.
Pats on the back for not getting a resentment about the locked doors. You came up with the perfect explanation (sound of laughter)
Come visit me again, and I'll get back here too.

dAAve said...

You know what they say.

When 2 (shed) doors close ...

Syd said...

Glad that you are a DIY. I am too. It feels good to get those things done that stare me in the face.