Thursday, July 22, 2010

one step fwd, two steps back?

Having said all that positive, happy stuff lol... (see previous posts) I am still struggling mightily in my marriage. We simply don't communicate well and I am at my wits end with what to do. I don't want to sit here and vent and blast her and all that. Suffice it to say that neither of us is perfect but damn, we seem to be heading in opposite directions, even though we were supposedly working on this thing.

I have been sort of in damage control mode again, trying not to upset the apple cart or cause any upset in her. But, she really doesn't need my assistance when it comes to her being down, or upset. I don't know how to handle someone who struggles with depression and anxiety like she does. I know we're married, I know I am supposed to be there, be patient, understanding, etc. I try, and I fail and I succeed on occasion. I'm just running out of energy where this is all concerned and that's just sad.

I will continue to pray, to do my best, but I feel with each step backward, each negative encounter, each "setback," we grow further apart and closer to splitting.


Carol said...

Maybe try seeing her through God's eyes? I don't really know, I bow down to anyone in a relationship, it's tough. I hope you (plural) will be alright.

Scott said...

Carol- you're an example of why I choose to post so personally on my blog. Thanks for your comment :-)

Syd said...

Scott, is she still going to Al-Anon? That would help a lot to learn to keep the focus on herself and to not take things personally. People can have different personalities and ways of thinking and still have a healthy relationship. But one has to know how to have that healthy relationship. Neither alcoholics nor co-dependents (pre Al-Anons) are good at that.

Scott said...

Syd, she's never been to al-anon, only I have. I wish she would and I probably ought to return to an al-anon meeting or two.

Thanks for your thoughts, my friend!