"Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen." -Twelve Step and Twelve Traditions p 91. How true? Uber True, for this alcoholic/addict. And, more so now than ever, in this day and age of instant communication via text, cell phone, instant message and e-mail. Times are more ripe than ever before, for the insertion of foot into mouth. The opportunity for resentment is at its greatest with the ability to miscommunicate instantly, easily and often. I'm so grateful for the "reaction time" HP has seen fit to build into my communication process. I can type up a hastily worded, fiery email, only to read it and save as a draft, to be deleted later. Never before has the concept of not acting or making decisions while in a strong emotional state been so important.
"It is a spiritual axiom that whenever we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." -Twelve Step and Twelve Traditions p 90. Damn, can I take that the wrong way and run with it? That's not to say that I am always at fault, always wrong, constantly in an uproar due to my own failings. But, there is a fine line between blaming others for my moods and owning my moods, taking responsibility for them. I've been taught in AA that it is time to take responsibility for myself, and be in control of myself. I have a choice today, not only to drink or not drink, but to get angry and lash out, or to deal with things in a more positive, rational manner. If I choose to lose my mind over something, it has been my choice. And, here's where that reaction time comes into play. Thankfully today, HP/God/Jesus has entered my life in such a manner that I don't have to just lose control of myself when I don't get my way. I can react inside, not take action or make a decision until sufficient time has passed that I can be sane and sober in my actions and thought process.
I've entered public life through my profession. These two truths are so important to me now, more than ever. I can only give credit to God for my growth in relation to these two truths. The fellowship of AA, the literature made me aware of them, but God Grace is what enables me to occasionally live by these truths more positively than I used to. Its a process, to be sure. I am not perfect, I fail, but I am better, far better than I was. For that I am grateful!
I might just stick with this little theme of "Tuesday Truths" in an effort to keep my writing on point with my purpose of sharing my recovery in AA. Perhaps you might be encouraged to do the same.