Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Poetry Potluck week 16

My friend Jingle hosts a wonderful Poetry blog at Jingle Poetry and each week we get together to write a piece on a theme provided by Jingle. This week, the theme is celebrations and festivities. I thought I might recall a thought process that was common to me for many years prior to my getting sober in AA nearly 15 years ago. Enjoy.

"self conversation"

Heart races... "What if they don't have enough?"
Another successful trip to the liquor store
ensures I won't have to worry.
I won't run dry.
"Oh, I know it's not a problem, but isn't it?"
A good high to stat the day wears on into the afternoon
as I contemplate my couture for the gala party I won't recall in the end.
"Oh wait... I wasn't going to do this again was I?"
"Ahh well, off we go... It's set in motion and there's no turning back."
It's another New Year, more amateurish attempts at an all nighter mostly fail.
"I won't fail, in fact I 've already won."
"I've equippped myself for another great party and avoided talking myself
out of abstinence once again. I'l deal with the fallout beyond the fun.
Happy New Year, more of the same. When will it end?
I cannot say."

6 comments:

Eric Alder said...

You've captured that vicious cycle quite well, Scott.

izzy said...

Cool! I remember dressing up with leotard
( in some bright color) over hip-huggers
and long dangly earrings - the anticipation was incredible...and then ended (mostly) with a hangover or
dissapointment.

Jingle said...

amazing job..
you are sweet,
I am sorry for being late,
I clicked on your entry and could not get to your post, fixed it now...

Happy New Year.
Thanks for the support.

A++

Jingle said...

Greetings!

I invite you to become a participant at Thursday Poets Rally Week 36…

This is a golden opportunity for you to make NEW poetic friends, and have your talent directly exposed to a community of talented poets…

Enter your entry here if you are ready

Hope to see you in, Happy Friday, best wishes for the year of 2011.

xoxox

ocdbloggergirl said...

Beautiful, moving, glad I found you!

Syd said...

Scott, isn't it good to not be in that good/bad talk in the head stuff anymore?