Thursday, June 30, 2011

perspective

At the noon meeting yesterday, I was asked to hand out tokens. We give out tokens to recognize various lengths of sobriety... I got to present a friend with her 9 year token. I remember when she first came around, and I've seen her grow in the fellowship. She struggles mightily with depression and things at times, but she's grown and her sober life has blossomed to include a husband, two children and a very active church life. I was so grateful to be the one to hand her the token and give her a hug.

The discussion then centered around people's opinions over whether or not tokens should be given, and how folks need to focus more on their sobriety one day at a time and less on the collection of tokens. The discussion included several different points of view supported by personal experience. Thankfully, this girl didn't have her feelings hurt (as I had feared she might). When she shared later on in the meeting, she reflected on her sober life and how she felt like she needed to give more and do more in the fellowship. She sounded reasonably happy and certainly grateful, but concerned about the quality of her sobriety. I'm glad she wasn't offended or upset because I've seen her get her feelings hurt and then avoid meetings for periods of time.

I prefer meetings that center around the content of the AA program such as a Big Book or Twelve and Twelve study. It's easy for us as aloholics to involve more opinion than experience, or AA content. It's also easy for us to get our feelings hurt, or get way off track. Discussion meetings are alright I guess but so much ends up being said that doesn't mean a whole lot at the end of the day. I know I shouldn't worry about things like this, and I usually don't, but it just sort of hit me as I sat and listened to the discussion. So, I decided to apply this to myself and make sure that when I do share, I am "on point" with my facts about the program, and honest about my experiences, and very slow to reveal my opinons.

It also occured to me during the meeting that I am still guilty of over-complicating (waaaaay over-complicating) my life. The whole "one-day-at-a-time" concept was thoroughly hashed out, and it was a great reminder for me. I have sobriety, food, shelter, safety and love in my life today. The rest is all an extra bonus. I HAVE to remember the "live in the moment" mantra and I am grateful for the topic yesterday. It was an interesting meeting, and I managed to comfortably sit idly by... listening rather than talking.

3 comments:

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I prefer literature based meetings as well, meetings structured solidly around the big book are my favorites for many reasons.

"live in the moment" ... good mantra!

septembermom said...

Sometimes listening is more important that talking. Good for you.

ScottF said...

Jess and Septembermom, thanks for visiting and leaving your thoughts :-)