Friday, January 20, 2012

one day at a time...

We've made it to another Friday, woo hoo!  Here's to reaching the end of another busy week unharmed and no worse for the wear!!

Our son Ian is 10, and is beginning to experience the joys of being a kid in school.  He came home quite upset Wed nite after being picked on for this and that.  He talked with his mom and me about feeling useless, stupid and having something wrong with his head.  Right now, I see this as a part of being a kid, something most of us go through.  But, I know better than to blow this off entirely as "stuff kids go through that they grow out of."  His mom and I are both emotionally crippled in one way or another.  Having said that, I want to keep a close eye on what's going on with him, in case he does end up having real emotional issues.  We talked, I listened to him tell me all about it, let him cry it out, and tried to help him understand that people say and do mean things and that we have to find a way to not let it bother us too much.  I also explained to him that his mom and I both went through this, and we still have to put up with people like that.  Its part of life, unfortunately.  We ended up having a good talk and Thursday was a better day for him.  His mom went to visit the principal just to bring her into the conversaton and alert her to where Ian's at, in case there is a bullying issue at school.

So we had a nice talk, a wonderful teaching moment about love, friendship, family, God and Jesus.  My poor wife takes stuff like this hard, and never has really learned how to deal with people and have a strong positive self-image.  So we take it a day at a time, talk about it and thank God that Ian is talking with us.  Too many kids end up so detached from family that they cannot come to mom and dad with their problems and fears.  I want to do my best to nurture a relationship with Ian where he can always come to us.  Too many kids end up pregnant, addicted, and suicidal because they cannot figure out how to deal with life on life's terms, and they end up feeling so alone they get drawn into bad situations.

I'm grateful that AA and Al-Anon have taught me some important lessons on unconditional love, kindness, humility and the absolute importance of completely honest, loving and open communication.  We can pass these lessons along to Ian and hopefully help him avoid the destructive behaviours his mom and I employed for so many years.  This is only the beginning of our adventure into adolescence with Ian.  Thank God we only have to live this one day at a time.


Elizabeth said...

How beautifully you handled that situation with your son. What a gift to be clear and present for your child.

Thank you for sharing.

Marcia said...

yes, I think it's awesome that he talks to both of you.

Syd said...

I am so glad that you talked to Ian. It is a good thing to let him know that he isn't alone in this. You are being a great dad.