Wednesday, February 15, 2006

freedom from the bondage of self

"If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free." -AA "Big Book" p. 552 Freedom From Bondage

This sort of goes along with the Step 3 notion that as soon as we ask for relief from our HP, we're granted that relief. I love that instant gratification I get from finally giving up the perceived control I have over someone/something. My struggle is in getting to the point that I'll actually lay a particularly troubling issue at the feet of my HP and ask for His Divine Guidance...

Any resentments I have are simply an expression of a self absorbed feeling I am having. To resent, implies (to me anyhow...) that I continue to re-visit a situation or something that happened that's in a particularly negative light. The more I re-visit that situation, the more damage I am doing to my own spirit. Once I can cease to re-visit that situation in my mind (ya know, the good old itty bitty shitty committee draggin' chairs and spillin' coffee) I can finally find release, peace, serenity. It's amazing to me that I harbor these resentments for the period of time that I do. They're so disturbing, so harmful to me, yet I do it anyway. Now, I am better about how long I hold onto these little joys. But, there's always room for improvement.

Today I am grateful for:

sobriety
HP
wife n son
really, really good, close friends (you know who you are)
upcoming trip to AZ
back up money to get thru slow times at work
health
a peaceful, loving Hallmark holiday spent with my two best peeps (see wife n son above)
having 5 really good TV programs to rotate thru last nite from 8-11 pm
all the other bloggers on here I have grabbed inspiration and peace from (thanks y'all!!)

4 comments:

Alexis said...

Percieved control...... how true!!!

Tab said...

HI Scott,
Once again, thank you for your support today.I am aching over this pretty deep but I just know in my heart all will be how it should be , just hurts at first I guess but I will get stronger in time I just know it.
Thanks for sharing
Tab

Rex said...

Great reminder. I needed that today...thanks
Rexie

sirreene said...

AZ ~ It is SO beautiful!