Thursday, February 16, 2006

"this matter of fear..."

"The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifelong undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed."

"Therefore, the problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain."

Bill W. from an Essay published in the Grapevine, January 1962. "This Matter of Fear"

Fear can sure tear me up when I let it. "Future Events Appearing Real" "F^&%* Everything And Run" There's all kind of ways to say it, we all know that gnawing, haunting feeling we get at 3:30 am when we're desperately trying to sleep. I cannot say that after 10 yrs of sobriety, I am free from fear. Quite the opposite, in fact. But, AA has given me the tools to deal with it. For that I am grateful, truly grateful to know in my heart of hearts, in my darkest moments, HP has got my back... What a relief, what freedom... I have that faith, but forget it often... That's why I keep coming back!

Today I am grateful for:

the freedom from fear I have been given
the ability to deal with the fears I still have
sobriety
health
my wife n son
the fresh warm apricot bread my wife just made (yum!)
the ability to work in my home office, rather than having to drive the 30 miles to the regular office each day.

4 comments:

Rex said...

FEAR is a tough one for me.....I still struggle with it everyday. I spent my whole life allowing False Events Appearing Real and than I would Fuck Everything And Run. Today I try my best everyday to Face Everything And Recover!

Anna said...

Ahhh fear that little thing that drives me and touches just about everything in my life. I have learned that it is an evil corroding thread... in fact it's the only evil I deal with today. It cuts me off from faith and hope. Choosing fear is like choosing death. Today I try my hardest to choose life.

Alexis said...

95% of everything I've ever feared never happened!! : ) and the other 5%, I some how set in to motion, the manifestation of my fear and made it real! I'm a worrier, but I'm trying to recover every day. I hope you have a day free from fear!

Shannon said...

great share on fear.. I feel like I am an expert in fear, long story, and I too am so grateful for my HP to help me outgrow fear, when I rely on HIM...

by the way... I just linked you, funny all this time I thought you were the other Scott... :) I am glad to come over to your blog... Happy Friday