From time to time, it dawns on me that, with my free "come and go as you please" arrangement at work, I can go to meetings at lunch time. Yesterday, it dawned on me, so I did. I had been to this particular meeting twice before, and was "deciding" (that's alcoholic for judging) if I liked it or not. Hey, who needed a meeting?? he he Well anyhow, I went over there with the itty bitty shitty committee kicking and screaming, dragging chairs and spilling coffee all the way across town! I am glad I did (as is usually the case when I do something good for myself in spite of my best judgement :-) )
HP met me there... (He does that) Anyhow, we had a discussion on Step 2, guess the guy who brought it up, seeing the end of the month upon us decided to milk it for all it was worth. I am glad he did! I sat and listened and related to how this collection of AA's found their HP, got to know their HP and how they found that HP had gotten them over the big hump of cravings, obsessions, impulses, so forth. I sat and listened, and finally shared about my entry into AA, my denial, my fear of all things HP, my reluctance to pray, my being backed into a corner one day and finding myself praying, and my gradual coming to believe in HP, whom I choose to call God. I am glad I did!
I hadn't shared my early recovery story with anyone in awhile. I am glad I did. It felt good to have that review of how far I have come (thanks HP), what I have been thru (thanks HP), the gifts I have been given (thanks HP), the friends I have made (thanks HP) and so forth. Well, I left there feeling pretty darn good. It's funny, often times, I head into a meeting not feeling all that particularly poor. But I come out of that meeting feeling so much better. I hadn't realized I could be feeling so much better than I was.
I am glad I went, I needed that intrusion into my day. I needed to feel better, and didn't even realize it. HP did fo rme, what I was unable to (or didn't see that I needed to) do for myself, AGAIN!
I am so grateful to have a relationship with HP today. He's given me all I have in life and for that I am truly grateful.