Last evening, I got into a super funk... I had had enough of my son's whining... He is going through a bratty, whiny phase these days... and, his mom kinda has a tendency to whine a bit herself, sees things from a slightly depressive point of view most of the time, kinda wears on me. I think "the change" has begun and her hormones go haywire..... Well, there are nites where I just want to turn round and walk right out after coming in the door from work. I am sure this is typical for a lot of relationships, especially in a dual alcoholic home. But man, last nite I let my irritation get a little bit out of hand. I decided to take Ian to hit golf balls since it had been over a week since we went. So, we get there, the range is packed and I tell him we'll chip and putt first since the range is so busy. Well, he decides to begin the 1,000,000th hissy fit this week because the normal routine is to hit balls BEFORE we putt, etc. Well, this set me off... so for the next hour, I was pissed, short with him, couldn't hit a damn golf ball to save my life... which of course improved my mood substantially... NOT Anyway, it wasn't a really fun time for either of us. Well, HP (as He often does) intervened by sending the golf pro out to pick up empty range ball bags.... He came over to us (by this time, its just us on the range...) and asks Ian to hits some balls for him. Well, of course, Ian is thrilled and hits a few quite poorly (which is odd for him...) The golf pro notices that Ian's hands are crossed over (backwards) for a right handed swing. I had seen this 2 yrs ago, but he was having so much fun, hitting the ball so well, swinging so easily, I decided to wait until he was older ot make the switch. Well, the pro switched him around and Ian started knocking the stuffing outta the ball... Of course, I am standing there beaming with pride and after we thanked the pro for the freebie lesson (Ian was in awe... it was soo cute....) I set balls up on the tee for Ian and he practiced his new, correct grip. Well, needless to say, we had a ball!! I let him hit all the balls we had left, including mine, and the evening was salvaged. (until we got back to my exhausted, pissy wife... he he, kept my mouth shut)
I really hate when I get in these moods. I allow the emotional difficulties of my wife and son totally derail me. It happens alot. And I know she lets my moods (cuz I have those moods too) derail her. Hell, it's the only thing we ever fight over... "Who had the worse attitude, or who got mad first," blah blah blah.... We dont argue over money, sex, Ian, any of the normal stuff... it always boils down to someone taking exception to someone elses negativity... I have to get better at this, cuz it tends to cripple our already poor communication... This is not to say that my wife has no part in the problem, but I simply cannot afford to focus on her part, that's part of my problem, he he!
Ok, needed to put that out there... This comes and goes, but we never really do anything about it. All I know is that I have to change me... I'd love to change her... (eeeeks!!!) Obviously, that's not the solution. but, it does feel good to write it out a bit... I feel a gratitude list coming on... I definitely need to focus on the positive too, he he!