Well, Monday went well, it was actually easy to be accepting of the results... Hell, I got most of what I wanted. Now Tuesday was a little different. I got through Monday so well, I decided (however unconsciously) not to take any preventative measures against the spread of the evil corroded thread of fear (and thus a lack of acceptance). So, when the copier fellow (who was nice enough to actually come back by my office in person) came by to tell me that he would be unable to lease me an office machine (long story, another time...) I was surprised and as a result of that outcome, I was pretty off center for much of the day. And of course, arriving home to find my wife in the throes of dealing with her cramps (yeah, those cramps), a whiny bratty acting 4 yr old and an insane Jack Russell Terrier didn't exactly go real far towards improving my outlook on life. Long story short ( I know, too late, he he) I took over the battle with the Ian and Cosmo and left my gal alone. I did well to not kill anyone, nor did I do any permanent physical or emotional damage to anyone. But, I can't say that I was any too pleasant to hang around with!
Well, I am still not getting much of anywhere with the office machine issue, it will be resolved, I can deal... But, after having attended my home group meeting last nite, which capped off a day spent working on some new deals (thanks State people for finally getting my license transferred) and some marketing stuff, I am feeling pretty ok with things. I am guessing that my ability to not completely come unglued over the silly stuff is in no small part due to my Zoloft prescription, some prayer, some writing and sharing and mainly HP in my life!
It's funny how on one day you can gear up, do your spiritual thing and go thru a wonderful day pain and stress free, and then follow that up with minimal or no spiritual effort and have pretty much (from an external influence standpoint) a similar day and just be feeling rotten inside. It makes me realize what is said in the Big Book on p. 83 (I think, lemme go check) ok, p. 85, my bad, never claimed to be a Big Book quoter, he he. Anyhow: "It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our soiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "how can I best serve Thee -- Thy will (not mine) be done." We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will." Oh yeah!
peace to you and me