Well, first of all, a great big thanks and hug to each of you who left your experience, strength and hope here for me regarding yesterday's post. I wish I could express to you all what that means to me... I know you know what it means, because we each have our difficulties, and we're all there online for one another... This blogging thing is A-OK with me!
I called a very close friend in AA (who has had a lot of difficulties like mine with his relationship(s)) and we met for lunch. I certainly haven't fixed anything, but it felt good to share what was going on, share my ideas on what I can do to make my part of the siutation better and hear his E, S & H on the thing. I had a long talk with my mom yesterday about this, as she has been a great sounding board for me since I got sober, especially regarding relationships. Last nite I had yet another (seems like almost daily) opportunity to overreact to the same old stuff (which is really annoying, right on the heels of a burn up, hehe). Well, I said nothing, made no faces, took no tones, was as pleasant as can be (without being just disgustingly Doris Day-esque) and I went to bed feeling fine, ok poor choice of words, feeling well. So, I know I am on track to do the right thing, I just need to keep at it a day at a time, and not get on the cross when I fail, cuz I sure as shit aint perfect!
I left a message for our priest... I wish I could adequately express to you what a HUGE deal it is for me to reach out to a member of the clergy, especially a Roman Catholic Priest. Suffice it to say, I have changed a lot in recovery... (thanks HP) He was off yesterday (I guess Priests get days off too, wow, didn't know that!) and is supposed to give me a jingle today. I am going to ask if I can get a sit down with him to discuss joining the Church, and more importantly, to ask about any resources I might utilize to help me with my temper/anger/attitude. I am way nervous about going to him but, I think it is probably a really good idea, especially if I am to become a member of the Church.
Ian and I spent a wonderful evening together while my wife was off to her smoking cessation class... Yeah, she only lasted about 2 months. I am not sure what happened, what all is going on with her, she doesn't tell me much, so I have to guess alot. At any rate, he and I had a nice time together, til the poor lil fella waited too long to go pee. It was actually really cute... We were outside, him hitting tennis balls off the new tee-ball we got, me working on a couple honey-do's (without cursing, I might add). I see him come round the front porch, holding himself (soo funny...) with that look on his face, so I said, go on inside, I will help ya button up when yer done, he said ok, and dashed in (like usual). Well in a minute, I hear him crying and carrying on inside, that instant loud wail, like when something happens. I dash in to see what's the matter, I ask him if he's ok, as I am coming thru the house and I hear this miserable lil voice say "I peed all over daddy..." I come in the bathroom and he is standing there, again, holding himself, still fully dressed, a big ole wet spot in front, wet leg/flip flops/floor, looking just crushed. I felt so bad... I kinda giggled, looking at him and he smiled... I asked him if he now knew why mommy and I ask him not to wait so long to pee, he said yeah. It was so cute... He apologized several times, and I told him accidents happen, but he has got to go sooner, so we talked about that for a bit as I set him in the tub and had him get undressed. It was almost bath time anyhow, so I let him have a long bath so he could play round, and everything was fine... We read a couple books, really enjoyed each other... He expected me to be mad (this bothers me, sigh... ah well...) and I wasn't. I felt really good about how I handled it, we got the lesson across, cleaned up the mess, didn't make a big deal, and had fun the rest of the nite. When she got home, my wife asked what happened so I told her he didn't make it, she probably thinks I got mad... Oh well, he he.
Anyhow, that's where I am at today. Thanks again y'all... Everyone helps me so much, sometimes a guy wonders what he did to deserve all this love. Oh yeah, I asked HP for help!