Yesterday I awoke in a bit of a spiritual, mental and emotional fog. This continued for much of the day. So, I decided to hunker down, get a bit of boring paper shuffling done and try not to mess anything up. I could just tell that it wasn't a great "people" day. Thankfully, my phone didn't ring a whole lot and when I got home, I was able to avoid any sort of conflict there. That's all well and good, but I certainly cannot afford to spend too many days like that! So, I am filing that one under the "this too shall pass" category and moving on. I don't enjoy getting in that sort of spiritual, non-motivated, reclusive funk. Sometimes the best I can do is keep to myself and try my best not to screw things up! So, my solution, ask HP for some help and work on my attitude of love, service and gratitude.
I have had a couple of really busy weeks and I am wondering if perhaps that hadn't finally caught up with me. I can only take so much interation with people before I need a little "me time" or recharge... I am certainly looking forward to our retreat, coming up the last weekend in Sept. I think this year, rather than stay in the cabins, I am going to take my tent and "ruff" it. I love that retreat, up at a YMCA camp in Michigan, out in the woods, getting out of the rat race for a couple days... I've been going up there nearly every year since I got sober in 1996 and being a part of the group of men who attend that each year has had a huge impact on my recovery. I've learned so much about me in the safety and security of a close-knit weekend-long recovery group, especially that first retreat, wow!
Prayer for the day:
God/HP, please help find your Grace and Will in my life today. I do not wish to remain feeling the way I felt yesterday so I am reaching out to you to help me realize that things are as they should be, that I have so much in my life to be thankful for. Please help guide my thinking away from self, directing me towards ways I can be of service to You and the people I encounter today. Help me to remember that when I get home from work today, my mother-in-law will be there with my wife's cousin. While I know this isn't a home invasion planned specifically to intrude into my funny little word, I may need a reminder. So, I pray that I remember to pray before I get out of the car in the driveway. I am lucky to have such a kind, loving family-in-law. Thank you for them. God, I ask a special favor of You, please help my Sponsee find his way today. He has been off the radar for the apst couple of weeks. I pray that he has the courage to grasp the Grace you so freely scatter to us all. Help me help him when he reaches out.
peace to y'all
ps- Lash, your comment about my "diet..." I am actually changing my lifestyle, changing my eating habits. Now, maybe that's just a bunch of bullshit semantics, whatever. But, I have found that for me to "go on a diet" is only a pre cursor to me "going OFF a diet." So, in an effort to make things do able on a daily basis, a day at a time, the rest of my life, I am simply changing how I eat. I have been absent from the local fast food drive thru establishments. I have eaten a TON less pizza, my lowfat ice cream consumption is down, I eat smaller meals, more fruit and veggies, less red meat. In other words, I am going for moderation, variation, and less of the worst things there are to eat. Basically, I think I am trying to eat sensibly, like "normal, healthy" people are supposed to eat, I think. Oh, and then there's exercise. I am walking or riding my bike, playing with my son as often as I can, usually daily or every other day. I have trouble with "working out" so I have simply tried to make resonable exercise a part of my life, rather than setting up some sort of unrealistic militant regimen that must be followed... You get the picture!