dAAve wow, again... I was watching the game in Cincy... wow, sorry bud! I can't beleive Biggio is still playing with them. He was a stud with the 'Stros when I was cheering for them when I lived there back 1991-1994.
My new friend Jonathan seemed to be envious of the peace and serenity that appears to have taken hold in my life today. I recall being envious of my sponsor and his sponsor early on. My grandsponsor used to hammer me, "you'll have 1 yr sobriety in 1 yr, 5 yrs in 5 yrs, 10 yrs in 10 yrs and so on..." That used to really piss me off. I was so emotionally and spiritually beat up, I wanted that peace and serenity right now! Well, I did get a lot of what I thought was peace and serenity early on, they just happened to be tied directly to whether or not I was getting what I wanted at that precise moment. Now granted, I was certainly feeling better than I had in some time, but that was simple, relative to how I was living prior to AA, it wasn't hard to feel better once I stopped poisoning myself.
Now-a-days, especially the past several months, I had experienced an increase in the peace and calm that comes with a strong faith in an HP that I KNOW will never let me down, that will always help me get what I need. I believe that's the result of an accumulation of time spent learning about HP, keeping my will in the forefront and repeatedly getting burned by it. I am a slow learner and a fast forgetter. I don't think it should've taken me 10 yrs in AA before I really, truly started seeing the Faith, Grace and Peace of a God that lvoes me, in mylife on a regular basis, whether times were good or bad. But, it did... It doesn't have to, it's not a requirement but, I think for such a profund change to take place (and I can promise you it will...), it just takes time. When old timers say "keep coming back" to you after you present them with a specific problem that's really eating your lunch, that's what they mean. That used to make me so angry.... I'd lay something out there for some help, and all I would get from these peaceful, smiling, relaxed, sober AA's was "keep coming back." Well, now I understand... Stuff takes time, especially the profound change in spirit it seem we need, in order to really grow beyond just not drinking/drugging. I am grateful that I stuck round, and that HP was patient (and still is) with me. I mean shoot, if at 10 yrs, I am feeling this good... Iam almost afraid to see what the next 10 may bring!
So, my friend Jonathan I say to you.... keep coming back! And by the way, I aint peaceful and serene 24/7 but I sure feel great A LOT of the time now... And that has become the most important ting in my life, protecting and nurturing God's Will and Grace in my life.
Prayer for the day...
God/HP, I am grateful to you for another sober day. Without You in my life today, I know I would be drunk and miserable in a matter of time. Thank You for giving Bill W./Lois and Dr. Bob/Ann, Ebby, Henriette Sieberling , and the first AA's what they needed to get this fellowship rolling. There is no possible way that AA and the recovery movement in the world today is not a Divine Creation of Yours. I know that without the fellowship of AA, I would not be sober today. I pray for your Will in my life, the lvies of all my family and friends, and most especially in the lives of my alcoholic addict friends, sober and/or struggling. I pray that I may remeber today that I need to seek first to understand, love, heal, give, tolerate, etc. I pray that I remember to look for Your Will and Grace throughout that day today.
peace to y'all!