Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Where's Scott?

MC, thanks for asking....

I am here, just a little too busy and a lot worn down. It seems as if all I have been able to do the past week or so is piss off my wife, my son and yes, even the dog. I am not sure what is even going on, and not entirely sure I am the only one at fault. However, I know I am the only one who can do anything about me. So, I need to find my part in stuff and just keep the focus on me. I've been fighting with this sinus thing, not getting completely sick, but not feeling anywhere near great, either. Work has gotten busy, which is great, but it leaves me tired when I am home, which isn't good. And to boot, just when things get a lil twerpy, Scott gets all lazy about blogging, prayer and meetings. I haven't been able to hit the jail meeting in several weeks, due to family obligations, etc. Well, Saturday I could've gone, but elected to stay in bed feeling crappy and tired.

The circumstances of my life haven't changed, haven't taken a turn for the worse. I have, lol. I can't say exactly what or why, but I can say that I am damn tired of feeling the way I do. So, I am going to try to get back in the groove of blogging, reading blogs, making a few extra meetings and wokring extra especially hard at keeping a smile on my face, and truly feeling good at home. Things with my wife have not been stellar lately. It seems that my marriage/home is the toughest place to have a strong program, especially since we're both alcoholics. So, now that I have been spending the past several months focussing on meetings, work, my spirit, etc... I had better shift the focus to my part in our relationship. Enough said there...

dAAve, I didnt forget to weigh in yesterday, gained a 1/2 lb up to 239, no biggie... Still down 16 lbs overall from when I began like 10 weeks ago or something like that.

Over the past week I have seen a few documentaries on the awful events of 5 yrs ago. I am still shocked and deeply disturbed by what took place that day. It makes me cry to relive the story of the people who took the plane down in PA. My thoughts and prayers go out to all who suffered as a result of the evil of that day... I remember that day every day as I have a framed reminder in my office. I will shoot a pic and post it.

Prayer for the day...

God/HP, thank You for another blessed, sober day. Please help me to get/stay on track with my conscious contact with you today. Help me see my part in things with my family, especially my wife. Help me keep the focus on myself, rather than spending so much time pissed off about the things she does that upset me. Help me not to be too harsh on myself as I evalute my part and work to improve. Please God, use me as Your Servant where my family is concerned ( well, where everyone and everything are conernced ). Use me to transmit Your Love and Grace to everyone I come in contact with today, most especially the people and animals who dwell in our home. Help me to remember that I am here to serve, not to take.

peace be with y'all... sorry I have been absent this week...

2 comments:

Designer Girl said...

Thanks for sharing this beautifully honest post, Scott. Sometimes we feel crappy, and we don't blog about it or talk about it, and I think that takes most of us into a darker place. You've confronted the issue, and you see your part in it and what you need to do to change what you can, and that's all you can do.

And get some antibiotics for that sinus infection. If you're on one already, let your doctor know it's not working. Sinus infections can be a lot more serious than most people know, and you don't need to keep feeling like crap physically (plus, it weakens your immune system, making you more susceptible to secondary infections, etc.).

dAAve said...

16 pounds is great!