Beside the obvious change of not drinking and abusing drugs any more, I guess the most profound change in me is my overall attitude/spirituality and yes, I believe they are inseparably connected. I used to think that everything sucked, I'd never "get a break" that "God was picking on me..." that nothing "ever went my way..." I have since learned that everything doesn't have to go my way, God is in fact, not picking on me, and I am no longer a victim. All that really matters is that I do my best each day to align my will with His Will and things will work out how they are supposed to. For me, the most influential piece of AA lit is the Big Book. I quickly found myself in there, as they said I would. I think the single most important (to me) chunk of the Big Book is Dr. Paul O (Dr. Alcoholic, Addict 3rd ed. starting on pg 447 and finishing the story out. I can so relate to that passage. The first time heard "449" (now 4th ed. p 417) read in a meeting, I raced home and read it, re-read it and marked the pages. I have been relying upon that chunk of wisdom to extract my head from my rear end ever since... Thank HP, Dr. Paul and Max! The most important component of my recovery today is the daily maintenance of my spiritual contact with HP/God/Jesus that I might enjoy that blessed peace of mind. If I can maintain that, the thought of a drink or drugs isn't an issue.
Quote for today: "Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of Max and other people are, the lower is my serenity." -AA Big Book 3rd ed. p 452.
Prayer for the day...
God/HP/Jesus... I wish I could express my gratitude for my sobriety today, especially. I guess, just please help me help another, and I pray that I might be fit to carry Your Message to the alcoholic/addict/human who still suffers. I am still blown away by how You raised me from my own living death, to function again as a reasonably happy person. Yeah I still slip back into the darkness from time to time, but the Sunlight of Your Spirit is always out there for me to grasp. Thank You. God, help me today to be an example of peace, confidence in Your Will and love in all my actions.
Peace be with you all, and thank you guys for becoming such a HUGE part of my recovery today. Thanks for your kind words on yesterday's post... lol, It's not been a terribly fun weekend thus far, lol I wish I could really express how much you all mean to me!