The last two nites have been good calorie burning nites at the gym shooting hoops, walking round the track and a bit of self mutilation on this nautilus sorta situp machine. Things is, with my schedule and with Ian, it's tough to get consistent quality workout time in. I guess I should just be thankful for the time I get and do the best I can. But, you know the old alcoholic on a mission. I want to lose weight, and I want to lose it now! lol ah well... At least I am a bit sore this morning and a little stiff, thats a good sign, right? not immobile, just a little sore!
"forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..." -The Lord's Prayer
I remember the first time I really realized what this actually means. I had been reading "The Sermon on the Mount" by Emmet Fox (which was sort of an early "Big Book' in AA of sorts in AA.) In the end of the book, he outlines the meaning behind each verse of The Lord's Prayer. Well it turns out that my forgiveness depends upon how well I forgive others. oh boy... Ever since I read that and got that shiver down my spine, I have never been able to recite the Lord's Prayer the same way again. Have I truly forgiven everyone in my life? Do I still nurse a resentment or two, however small? Is there anything blocking my soul from God's forgiveness? Oh boy, you mean I am going to be forgiven my sins just as I have forgiven those whom I believe have sinned against me? Boy, if that doesn't take the joy out of judging people, nothing will.
There's a story in the back of the 3rd edition of the Big Book (my 4th ed. is out in my frozen car, lol) called Freedom from Bondage. near the end of her story, she shares some profound wisdom she read in a magazine article: "If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. ...even when you don't really want it for them... ...do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassion, understanding and love." -Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd ed. p. 552
Now, there's some spiritual calisthenics, huh?
Prayer for the day...
God/HP/JC, please help me stay sober today. Please continue to take away my compulsion, my obsession to drink, drug and smoke cigarettes. I know that I cannot stay sober, nor live to good purpose without first giving myself over to you. Help me today to carry Your message into the jail. Help me to not judge my friend P who insists on using the F word as often as possible in meetings. Help me not to be distracted by that and give away my peace of mind. Help me not to use the F word or any other form of curse today. (maybe a little extra help there, please, he he!) God, please continue to help me to be tolerant and patient with those who wish to spread their negative outlook on life. Let me carry Your Grace and peace with me wherever I go, and remember that everyone is entitled to be and feel who and what they choose. It's not up to me to fix or correct them. I ask Your Blessing and Strength for my friend Mike and his family, who lost their wife and mom to Cancer.
y'all have a peaceful Saturday!!