Tuesday, February 06, 2007

more brrr

Dang it's cold, lol another sub-zero drive to work! and to boot, we're going to get some snow this afternoon. Now understand, when we get snow here, people sort of lose their minds, especially in a year when we've had very little snow. They forget that you have to slow down, etc. I grew up in Western NY State where lake effect snow was measured in feet and yards, not inches. But since moving here in 1982, and living in Houston, TX for 3.5 yrs, I have softened a bit. And now, shamefully I must admit that even I get a little excited (in a good way) over 2-4" of snow. Yes, MC I know you're laughing at me now, lol. (either that or ready to slap me up side the head after all the snow y'all have had, lol)

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also... ...We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it." -p.90 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Step 10)

Ok, so now, even when I am getting "hosed" I am wrong? What is up with that nonsense? Yes, it's quite easy to take that interpretation from that quote, especially if you leave off the second part! I believe (and this is just me) what Bill is saying here is that we as alcoholics cannot afford to get too angry or upset over anything. It's better to tuff it out and take our lumps as opposed to going through the roof (or floor) over the situation, and STILL having to deal with the "lumps." I do so much spiritual and emotional damage to myself (not to mention those around me) when I go through a rage or a severe bout of depressive self mutilation over stuff I usually have no control over. I think that the message here is one of self control, and keeping one's kool. Whatever it is that's disturbing us cannot be as important as our sobriety. And our sobriety begins with emotional and spiritual sobriety, serenity.

I read and wrote that for myself, for I need to remember that on a daily basis, I tend to get all goofy at times over stuff that just isn't worth wrecking myself over. And besides, who among us can salvage a tough situation if we're in tatters ourselves?

Prayer for today...

God/JC/HP, thank You for this day and all it might bring. I pray that I open my heart and mind to You, that You might guide me to Your Will. I pray that today, I might practice self control. I pray that I might not let anything disturb the peace of mind You so lovingly give each morning. In the spirit of Your Love and Peace I pray that I might be able to carry that Spirit to those I come in comtact with today. It is after all, my place to Serve You and those around me first, knowing in faith that You'll carry me where I am supposed to be. I pray most of all, that I might bring this attitude into my home at the end of the day and be a bright spot for my wife and Ian rather than an over-reacting crumudgeon, even if it seems warranted because of what hits me at the door. I hope I remember to pray this prayer many times today, and each day.

may your day be filled with peace and the Grace of God!


Shannon said...

I agree, "what Bill is saying here is that we as alcoholics cannot afford to get too angry or upset over anything. It's better to tuff it out and take our lumps"

I dont like to take my lumps, but I know its better for me to deal with why I am bothered, and what it effects in me, then reacting... and making more of a mess, only to follow up with guilt and remorse of how I reacted... make sense...?? thanks for reminding me of this... something I tend to forget.. NO MATTER how well I know, you know?

anywhoo.. I am excited for you to get snow... bundle up and have fun with wife, Ian and Cosmo!

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

I agreed with Shannon above.

MC is up and running and you're getting snowed in. Maybe, that's life (or Geography!).

dAAve said...

Some nice nuggets, soberman.

Mary Christine said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . 2 inches. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .

vicariousrising said...

I agree with you - it really can be interpreted as practicing self-control rather than telling you not to allow yourself to have feelings of anger. I like what you wrote here a lot (and thanks for writing something similar in the comments in my blog). For me, I am learning that it is ok to allow myself to feel anger, and that does not mean I have to have a resulting action from the feelings. What I was doing in the past was not allowing the feeling out of fear of what I might do as a result, that I might not be able to control the anger or ... I didn't know. I was frightened and ill-equipped. But the anger was leaking out in all kinds of terrible ways. I guess my point was that so many people were very vocal about interpreting that part of the literature as DO NOT FEEL ANGER, and told me as much, with much finger wagging and dire warnings of relapse.

Great blog. I need to spend more time here. I'm definitely a neophyte, but I'm eager to learn from those who have been blogging and sober longer.