Sunday, January 27, 2008

When I awoke this morning quite groggy and came to, I knew that skipping Mass (something I very rarely do) was not an option. I just knew I needed to be there to give thanks to God for all my blessings. I knew I needed to receieve the Blessed Sacrament to heal from the errors of my ways, and from the drain and emotion of this past work week.

I could feel the relief overtake me as I settled in to church, meditated a bit on opening myself to receive the Word and His Body and Blood. The readings spoke to me, especially the Gospel reading for today Mt 4:12-23 where Jesus calls the first 4 apostles to become "fishers of men."

As I watched Fr Tom prepare the Blessed Sacrifice, our meal to be shared with Him, emotion overcame me and I felt like I might lose it.... I just was so very glad to be there among my friends and fellow Christians receiving the Word and the Lord. I watched and listened as he carefully poured out the wine and said the eucharistics blessings, as he recounted the Last Supper and bowed in reverence to Jesus gifts to the apostles. Once I came up to receive, a good friend of mine was a eucharisitic minister this morning and gave me the Blessed Sacrament, a gal I played basketball with earlier in the week gave me the Precious Blood and I received fully the gift of our Lord. Normally I do not receive the Precious Blood, being an alcoholic and all, but I know my Lord wouldn't ever lead me back into that illness. As I returned to my seat to meditate on the Gifts I had just received, emotion nearly overcame me again... It was a very moving, necessary Mass this morning and I am so very glad I went. I catch Mass nearly every Sunday, sometimes through the week as well but today, I especially needed God and He was more than there for me in the persons of Fr Tom, in the Host and Precious Blood, in my wife, my son and fellow parishoners. I am by no means a perfect Christian or Catholic and I know what I need to do to improve but I am damn grateful to be practicing, recovering, living, experiencing what it means to be sober in AA and the Catholic Church.

Thanks for coming by, and I wish for you a peace filled day...

1 comment:

ukok said...

Scott, what a beautiful account of your experience at Mass today. I always think it's just such an extra 'bonus' to actually feel so moved, so in tune ith the Lord when at Mass. We both know that our faith isn't based on our feelings, but it's such a beautiful thing to actually *feel* the Mass too, isn't it?

Thanks for your supportive comment on my blog too!