Sunday, February 10, 2008

"what do I do now?"

That was the question posed by an inmate Saturday morning... "Now that I have lost my connection to all the people who I drank and partied with... Now that I have lost my friends, my old life... Now that I have lost my wife and kids... Now that I have lost my freedom" (as he looks around the room we're in, referring to the jail)... "I probably will be homeless when I leave here... I don't want to drink anymore, I know that I have lost everything becasue of my drinking..." (he pauses to collect himself) "What the hell do I do now?"

That question followed the opening to our jail mtg, and he then gave us a bit of a brief history of how he came to be where he's at today. Well, suffice it to say, we had an excellent discussion of "what to do now..." We had about 6 inmates and 5 outside AAs in the meeting and it was one of the best meetings I had been to in quite awhile. I mean, he laid it on the table, opened himself to us in a tough environment. He's ready to do it... at least he was yesterday morning. I shared with him that I felt like he might be able to find some gratitude among all the "losses." Obviously, the wife and kids deal isn't fun. But, the loss of all the old friends, and place to live, and old life... The fact that he has bene given a "time out" by the legal system. He has a clean slate going forward. He has a real opportunity to start anew. We referred him to a couple of halfway houses in the area, gave him a list of our phone numbers, talked about the vital importance that his sobriety be the #1 thing in his life, a day at a time. And we gave our experience with how we made recovery our #1 thing: meetings on a daily basis, a home group, calling a sponsor daily, reading the Big Book and 12X12 daily. It was a powerful meeting indeed. And where he seemed to start the hour from a place of hopelessness and despair, he ended the hour smiling and grateful. And while I didn't start the meeting in despair, I know I sure left there feeling grateful for the opportunity to help another alcoholic...

God sure works in wonderful ways... My day yesterday was filled with wonderful "coincidences" of things working out well, from nowhere... There has been an issue plaguing me that I've needed to talk to my wife about. I've been trying to figure out how the conversation should go so I don't needlessly set her to worrying and being all depressed. Well, by praying on it, being patient about it and letting things unfold, she ended up initiating the very conversation I'd been agonizing about for two weeks, and it was a non-event discussion...

Maybe this Novena to St Joseph I've been praying for the past week has begun to have an impact... Thanks to Deb in the UK for that one!

My preparations for Mass today will include more gratitude than the daily dose... It feels great to let God guide my thinking and actions... And it seems that the results are even pretty decent lol

may the peace of our Lord be with you all...

7 comments:

dAAve said...

It's all spelled out in the steps.

ukok said...

Scott,

So glad that the meeting was fruitful...it's great that you are providing such support,information and friendship to those who are so in need of it.

just one question, what's the 12X12 daily? (Is it perhaps the AA 12 steps or something else entirely?)

I haven't had my novena prayer answered yet, but maybe God is working on that for me!

God Bless you and yours!

Adrienne said...

ukok - the 12x12 is the 12 steps and 12 traditions of AA. We have traditions just like the Catholic Church. Kewl!

Scott - Don't you just love those extra special meetings?? Makes it all worth while

Adrienne said...

ukok - Scott was saying we should read the Big Book and 12x12 each day. We do have daily meditation books available, though.

Pam said...

wow I'll bet you really got a shot of gratitude after that meeting!!

Gwen R said...

What a great commitment. Can't stay much greener than being at a meeting in jail.

Hope your well these days.

Luv,
G~

vicariousrising said...

That had to have been a profound meeting in many ways. Not exactly easy to answer, especially since you got to walk out the door. I'm glad you were there to talk to them. It is probably very hard for them to see that by walking a better path, it is possible for them to have a life they never dreamed of. It's so easy to say that the Big Book gives all the answers, it's another to show them it is in fact working in real peoples' lives. That's why these jail commitments are so important. I really am glad you were there.