drifting...

drifting is what's going on in my life today....

my wife and I seem to be drifting apart... we've always had trouble communicating but that communication gap is ever widening and frankly, I don't see it improving. I know what things I can improve upon, what things I need to get better at. And, occasionally I work at them. But, she just seems to go through these depressed phases and there's nothing she seems to be inclined to do about it, except reading the occassional new age thinking book and watch some programs related to that stuff, which is fine. But, she needs help, we need help. If we're going to make a go of this, we'll need help. We're not getting anywhere doing what we're doing (Step 2). I don't mean to blame our difficulties all on my wife, certainly not. But I am being relied upon more and more to handle everything about our lives because she cannot handle much of anything beyond the normal routine stuff. And, even that is getting stressful for her. Given that type of environment, I could become Barney or Mr Rogers (peaceful and calm 24/7) and it wouldnt improve things. It's becoming alot like being a single parent with two kids... How crappy is that for me to say? But truthfully, it's heading in that direction and frankly, it aint what I bargained for. I suppose I will need to lower my expectations of her and tough it out...

drifting... explains my relationship with HP, Jesus, God all that jazz... I am busy with work, stressed with work, stressed with weight gain and lack of exercise again, stressed with family/marital crap. And frankly the last thing I need to be is drifting... but, I am... So I tell on myself in order to see it in writing, and hopefully get my arse in gear. I've been to church but not as regular as I had been. Ive been having trouble making regular meetings. I have been trying to isolate from friends and family when I can find the time lol I think that about covers the warning signs, lol I have no desire for a drink or anything, just a bit more peace and happiness...

I am drifting away from my family... I dont get up to see them as often as I would like, as trips up home seem to stress my wife out, and cause problems for us. (not to mention the fact that I am busy with lots of stuff lol)

so, that's the drifting that's going on... It happens, it's alarming but it wont lead to my drinking or anything like that. I just need to get back in the swing of things with prayer and church. The rest of the stuff can be handled with a firm spiritual foundation.

So, I needed to tell on myself...