Wednesday, October 22, 2008

keeping the faith, not always easy, but necessary!

Tonite will be the first time I have been to my home group in a few weeks, and my first AA meeting in a few weeks as well. I set up at 6:00, go teach my class from 6:30 to 7:30 and come back to my meeting which meets at 7:30. Thankfully, my home group meets right around the corner from my church, lol.

One of the great things about my program is that I live with a sober alcoholic, I sponsor one, and most of my friends are in AA. So, even when I get too thin on meetings, I am never very far from the message. I don't believe a real alcoholic/addict like me can get by without meetings, but when it gets a little crazy, it's just good that I am basically immersed in recovery.

Plus, I am busy with church activities and teaching my kids and I have the YMCA board stuff going on. Those are two spiritual exercises that help me stay the right size between meetings. And of course there's Mass on Sundays (I make it most weeks) and a wee bit o' blogging. But, all that cannot replace the need for this alkie to be in meetings and around durnks on a regular basis.

Having said all that, I am pretty frickin' nervy and dry right now, as opposed to peaceful and "sober" in the truest sense of the word. The work thing is consuming me, spilling into my personal life. I have got to get and keep that in perspective. It's just a little tough being the sole breadwinner in a commission based gig in the worst market in decades. That sorta puts a damper on things.

However, I know in my heart of hearts that I just need to have faith in HP. I know he'll keep me pointed in the right direction if I stay outta the dang way. I know he'll show me what I need to do if I simply ask, stay busy doing the next right thing and keep my eyes open for the direction. So, that's where I find myself tonite... Trying to simplify, clarify and chill the heck out!

peace to you all!

1 comment:

dAAve said...

I hate that you're short on meetings. Be careful about that please.
But glad you checked in, nonetheless.