Sunday, October 26, 2008

fear, gratitude, re-invention and prayer...

dAAve, thanks bud... got to my homegroup this week, and had a little mini-meeting with a former home group member who banks where I work. God drops this fellow by my cubicle every now and again and we enjoy a brief little on the spot meeting. This time "R" reminded me that he always loved how I try to look at my job as service work, even though I get paid for it. Oddly enough, I had forgotten that lol. Thanks HP for the reminder! It's funny how God works in our lives, isn't it?

I feel like I am watching my career with the bank come to a slow but definite end. It is becoming agonizing. I haven't submitted a mortgage loan application in over 3 weeks. The drum beat from management is to see as many people in the bank lobby as possible and still get your work done. I can't in all honesty say that I have seen every person and met with them all, but I sure as hell talk to alot more than ever before. I also am much closer with my core realtor partners than ever before. But, here in Ohio, purchase season is winding down. Once we get into Nov-Dec it dies until Feb. With the economy and the election, it seems like everyone is waiting and watching. So, business has ground to a near halt.

Re-invention: I have been seeking a new position outside the bank for a few months now. I have had several interviews, even got close on another bank job in commercial lending. I have even gone so far as to talk with my manager about going from the home lending division over to the bank and becoming a mgr or personal banker. He's not terribly enthusiastic about that notion and keeps urging me to hang in there until this market comes back. But I dunno if I can hang on that long being commission-based, and the only income in our household. I am grateful that I still have the job, and in my heart I know it's coming to an end soon. My heart and prayers go out to those who have lost jobs and benefits... It's a tough time out there.

My wife ran into a friend of ours, who had been in businesss for years and is now a public school teacher. This friend suggested that I call her to find out how she got into teaching "through the back door..." So, I called and we talked for a long time. I am going to re invent myself back into a teacher. It's what I went to school for, got my degree in and all that jazz. So, my efforts and energies are now going to be directed into my new career path, becoming a teacher. This is something I have been putting off for a long time, as a part of the destruction brought about by my drinking career. I basically threw away my music teaching career for drugs and alcohol.

So, this will dovetail nicely with my spiritual growth and recovery from alcoholism and addiction. It took me almost 10 yrs to begin playing my trombone again, but I finally have worked through that hurdle. It's time to work on reclaiming what I think just may be my other calling, to help and teach kids. Wish me luck!

My friend J called me the other day to tell me that her mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer and they think it's inoperable. She had just found out the day she called and I don't know that it all has sunk in. I mean how could it? Another friend of my wife and me is losing her dad to concer as well. My friend Bill is recovering from his brain tumor surgeries and is coming along slowly. So, if you have a moment, say a few prayers for the people struggling with cancer and their families.

Our niece "N" has agreed to enter rehab. She is in awful shape and in her 20's. She's in some 28 day program, then she goes to MN for some Hazelden program then to a hazelden halfway house. It sounds like my bro-in-law and his wife are betting the farm on her recovery, sinking all their cash into it. They have been going to Al-Anon, finally... So at least maybe they can get some recovery, some relief. We're praying for them all.

peace be with you all!

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