Tuesday, April 21, 2009

change is inescapable, faith is necessary

One thing's for sure, change happens... This whole "stuck at home recovering from surgery" has been a big change for me. It also has evolved what what was expected to things that were never imagined. While I've been out of the bank, things have changed rapidly. Thankfully I've been able to stay in touch and work from home, or I'd be lost going back. It looks as if further change is coming down the pike. One of our top, veteran loan officers is retiring at the end of next month. In an effort to help stabilize her market and to help solidify my career and earnings I have tossed my hat in the ring to be reassigned to that market. That would be a big change, mostly positive. We'll see how it goes. I've also decided to apply for the band director job at our local high school. I don't know if I would even get an interview,a nd I don't know if the salary would be sufficient to support our one income householes but I am going to check it out.

From time to time, I like to reflect back on those foggy days of early sobriety. Back in Jan 1996, all I gave a shit about was myself (yes, that has changed a little bit, lol), my partying, the band I was playing in and getting what I wanted out of those around me. That was pretty much the extent of my life. (I guess there's something to be said for keeping it simple but c'mon lol) Today, and over the 13+ years I've had in recovery in AA, my life has done nothing but evolve. My life is like the life of a totally different person. Hardly anything (except for my firmly entrenched self-centeredness lol) resembles my life back then. If you had told me then what I'd be doing with myself now, I would have never believed you. I used to run and hide from change, now I embrace it (usually lol).

What changed in my attitude?? A simple word: faith. HP has my back. He will guide me through life if only I let him. All I have to do is trust God's Will for me and it all works out the way it is supposed to and the change becomes an exciting advanture... Today I pray to know His Will for me and to have the strength to follow and trust.


dAAve said...

Change is good.

Steve E. said...

Sounds like your life and your program HAS evolved. And the last line of this blog IS our Step 11--and what a wonderful moment when that step clicks in, and we finally learn something of what it's all about. Alfie? (Song)

Mary Christine said...

I hope the band job comes through. That would be nice.