Tuesday, September 08, 2009

a good meeting

Well, we got home ok yesterday afternoon. We had a real nice time visiting my wife's family over the weekend, but it's still good to get home and sleep in my own bed.

I'll get right to it, we did get a chance finally to sit and talk with our niece about where she's at with recovery and so forth. After Mass on Sunday, "N" my wife and I all sat around the table on the back porch and enjoyed about a 90 minute "meeting" together. She shared, we shared, it was nice. She seems like she's in a good place right now, seemed receptive to hearing our suggestions and our experience with the program. But I got a clear sense that she's reluctant to go to meetings. I did my best to stress how important it was for me (especially early on) to get a daily recovery program of some sort in place. And I let her know how that is still important even after 13+ years of sobriety. (probably even more so now) We had a great chat together and like I said, she seemed really receptive and honestly desiring to stay sober. I didn't hear much of the usual bull shit we addicts and alkies try to peddle. So, either she's figured out she cannot BS a couple of top notch "BS ers" from way back or she's got herself pointed in the right direction. We exchanged numbers and prmoised to stay in touch. other than lots of prayer, that's about all we can do. I just hope and pray she latches on to this good place she's in and keeps going with it.

I do see some of how she got where she is though. Her mom especially (and her dad to some degree) is quite the enabler, whew. Mom and Dad could use some al-anon training on how to let her go have her consequences and her bottom. Otherwize they are going to hinder her recovery. They are either too micro managing or too "giving." But either way, I can see how they just smother the shit outta her lol. I'll tell ya, this disease has so many little insidious ways of working itself into our lives. Its painful to watch a family go through the machinations of getting recovered (or not) and not be able to do anything but pray. Having said that, there is solace in knowing that HP will help them if only they figure out how to reach out for and use that help. That's what I pray for, that they find God's grace in time to make a difference in their own lives.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Being there, listening to her (good or bad) and letting her know your limits & willingness will be the best gift you can give your neice. Glad you had a good weekend. Mine was all screwy with the holiday. Hubs off fri, on sat, off sun, early mon. Not cool.

But he has a job and for that i'm totally grateful.