I was trying to explain the Sacraments to my CCD kids last week in class. As a Catholic, I believe that through each Sacrament, my soul is profoundly changed by the Touch of God, Jesus and/or the Holy Spirit. And, once this change occurs, I will never be the same. Take Baptism for instance... Christ claims us for Himself at baptism, we're marked with the Holy Chrism, bathed with/immersed in Holy Water and the Lord places a mark upon our soul. We're Baptized. We're never not Baptized from that moment forward. The Lord has touched our soul in such a way that we'll never not be Baptized in Christ.
I believe the same thing goes with our disease. I will never not be an alcoholic/addict. It's like a pickle. Once a cucumber becomes a pickle, that's it. It's a one way transformation. I am an alcoholic and will always be an alcoholic. I know this today. I accept this in my heart today. As much as I dislike it sometimes, I am at peace with this today. Sure, I'd prefer not to be an alcoholic, so I could drink with impunity, without consequences. Hell, if I weren't an alcoholic, I'd probably spend the next two weeks drinking. Oh wait... lol. See what I mean? I can't even apply rational "non-alcoholic" thinking to the discussion.
I say all this not to be all Mr. Negative and Doom Guy. I say this just to keep my disease fron and center where I can keep an eye upon it. Otherwise, my mental/emotional/spiritual malady will work on me at my weakest points. It will slowly take my thinking back to a place where it finally is ok to go ahead with that first drink. Then the physical craving sets in, the mental obsession begins and off we go. So, it's vital for me to keep my illness somewhere close at hand, so I never ever forget, lest I return to the life I once lived. That's why meetings are important, prayer is important, reading is important. Since I keep the disease close, I must immerse myself in the solution, a day at a time.
I pray that today is a day where I am immersed in recovery, positive attitude, prayer and love for others.