Friday, October 30, 2009

constant, daily effort

It's Friday again already and I am glad! It's been a busy week, multiple places to be/things to do each evening and I am ready for a little "down time." Plus, I still have some significant "honey-do's" to get accomplished. So, it will be nice to be around the house all weekend. Maybe I will get a chance to sleep in!

I posted yesterday about anger. Anger has been one of my most difficult "character defects" to get ahead of and control of. I am alot better than I used to be but I still have a ways to go. There are times when I get really, really mad over stuff that shouldn't bother me. However, I have noticed an amazing reduction in the number of times I get "irretrievably pissed off" since I left the bank. That's definitely a good thing! But still, those times come when I just get plain mad and then it affects the people I am around . Usually, the stimulus is something insignificant, which tells me the "issue" is underlying and was either there all along, or is there as the result of a bunch of accumulated stuff that hasn't been dealt with.

So, I think the solution is to pray daily, and search myself for resentments and spiritually/emotionally disturbing issues during regular times of meditiation. Once I identify these things I can then deal with them more appropriately before they become so toxic that they are forced to boil over at the most inappropriate (and often unrelated) times. Writing helps me keep potentially resentful issues in perspective. Praying to God, asking for His help with issues or people is another great way to stem the tide of anger and resentment. Constantly reminding myself to be more accepting and tolerant of my own mistakes and shrotcoming also helps. And, reminging myself not to take life (and me) so damn seriously really goes a long way to preventing the build up of anger and resentment.

For me, sobriety is a daily task that requires some effort. Thankfully, my sobriety has evolved from God, please somehow don't let me take a drink/drug today to God, please help me be a better person today. I am so grateful that God removed my obsession to drink, use drugs and smoke. Now, I can clearly focus on the problem, me :-)


dAAve said...

For me, anger pretty much disappeared when I learned to just let go of stuff.

Steve E. said...

YESSS. Not to take life too seriously. Sometimes I carry that too far! But...oh, well.

Love and PEACE!

Syd said...

I rarely feel that fuming anger that used to come when I felt wronged. Much of what happens around others isn't about me so it is easier for me to detach and let stuff go.