A new-ish fellow at the noon group shared his experience and difficulties in "coming to believe" in a Higher Power, and asked for help with the process. He's been sober several months, but it's been a struggle for him. He shared that he cannot seem to "get" the whole God thing, but that he is open to ideas and anything really. He's just not "feeling" it.
Of course, this spurred a wonderful sharing session from the attendees on how each of us came to have a relationship with our respective HPs. I love to hear how people connect with and develop a relationship with a power greater than themselves. We talked about AA being the HP early on for many of us. Some of us shared about our skepticism, or outright disdain for God and organized religion. We talked about the difference between religion and spirituality. We shared our difficulties and our successes, and how the whole thing really is a process for most folks.
For my part, I had issues with God, church, believing in anything but me. (It took me a loooong time to recognize the mess I was making of my life, running the show, who knew?) I blamed God, had every negative stereotype about religion, spirituality and the people who "professed" to have that together. My first sponsor Johhny F. shared with me what his HP was all about, and encouraged me to "borrow" his HP. "My HP is big enough for the both of us, man," he said. It worked for me over time. Johnny F. told me to ask HP each morning to remove my obsession to drink and use drugs. And one day it dawned on me that I hadn't thought about drinking or drugging in a day or two. WOW, that was a real moment in my sobriety. All I could think about for weeks and months was that I was not drinking, not drugging, not partying. To realize I hadn't thought about it was some kind of miracle indeed!
I'm glad I hit the meeting Monday because I was transported back to that time, listening to the newcomer-ish guy share about his struggles. I pray for him, and I hope you will too!