Tuesday, December 06, 2011

having faith...

I'm up early for Rotary and work so I figured I'd knock out a post...

As many of my readers know, I struggle with over committing myself to various volunteer and service activities.  I suppose that if I'm going to mess up, too much giving is not a bad area to mess up in.  Last year, against my better judgement, I signed up to be an asst. coach on Ian's YMCA basketball team.  I ended up being paired with a great basketball coach, we had plenty of parental help and it was a great season for all.  So this year, I signed up to assist once again and I am the only coach out of 37 teams to not have an assistant lol.  You can put what I know about basketball fundamentals and coaching in a thimble and still have room for coffee.

I'm committed (or should be lol) to the Y and the team so there's certainly no thought of backing out.  but I have to say that I am a bit apprehensive about the coming season.  I've solicited help from the guy I coached with last year for drills, plays, etc.  He said "anytime" so I will hold him to that.  I just hope and pray I can give the boys a good season of instruction, fun and sportsmanship.

I believe I owe.  Yea, I owe as in financial debt, most of us do.  But I believe I owe a bigger debt, to God and society.  I spent years as a taker, a self-centered alcoholic and addict in the extreme.  So today, much of my life is focused on trying to be a giver.  I haven't turned into Mother Teresa or anything, no danger there.  But I've discovered in AA and in my Catholic faith that God (HP) seeks our service to carry out His will and to help those around us who need it.  I feel as if I owe a debt because I spent so many years being a sick taker, a slacker, a cheat, a thief.  I don't know that I will ever truly repay, that's up to God.  But I do know that when I try to align my will to a life of service, things seem to be decent.

I worry at times (like right now as our savings depletes) about money and finances.  And, I work hard at giving my employer more than they (I work for a board) pay for.  I continually seek better opportunities for my family.  I deal ethically in business, in everything.  I try to remember to apply the same principle of service to my vocation as I do to volunteering.  But, I still struggle with self-centeredness, and we're still struggling with finances.

I guess my message to me is to have faith that God will provide.  This year I've been feeling as if good things are just around the next bend.  I went through a good interview process for a really great, more public career position, and ended up coming in behind a few more qualified candidates.  And, I am getting ready for another interview process for an even higher profile public job, so who knows where that will lead.  All I know is that I must live in today, keep my expetations low, my hopes high and have faith that God will put me where He needs me.  That will be good enough for me, and I pray I may accept whatever happens.


Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I love this post! I love your attitude and I love that you're willing to see faith as an act of service to God and family. I believe that too, because now that I'm sober, I see how much of that faith was in the grandparents and parents I have... my grandparents did and parents do still work hard to ensure security love and security for their family, and now I'm also trying to do that.

Mary Christine said...

Savings? What is that?

I agree, I think we owe a lifetime's debt. I am glad you are so diligent about repaying it. I have slackened off a bit in the last couple of years, but still people marvel at what I do!