Wednesday, February 08, 2012

acceptance vs denial

Mom and I spoke Monday and she will need a biopsy on the spot in her lung.  The PET scan made that spot light up immediately and they have concerns.  She will consult with her pulmonary doc this week and they will get a plan and do the biposy.  As of right now, I don't know when that will take place.

Having said all that, it seems as if I ought to be feeling more concerned than I am.  I don't know...  This could definitely be a big deal here if its cancerous.  I guess right now, I am just not freaking out.  Maybe it isn't sinking in because of my day-to-day life?  I don't guess I need to be freaking out, but shouldn't I be, lol?  My mom seems in good spirits, and that's what's most important.  We're taking it all a day at a time and she's ready to "carve that bad boy outta there" if it turns out to be a threat.  Please pray for us.  Hopefully I am accepting this and handling it rightly, rather than living in denial or ignorance.

Today is a day where I seek God's will for me.  I start by being sober and I look for ways to be of service.  I've found that when I can find a way to be of service to others, my days just goes better.  I can spend way to much time focused on Scott, and when i do that I invariably end up focusing on things I wish I had, or things I think I need.  That turns into a lot of negative thinking and I really trap myself and trash my attitude of gratitude.  When I am seeking ways to be of service, I see myself as a person with something to offer, which reminds me to be grateful.  When I am grateful for the blessings and gifts in my life, I seem to be more receptive to new gifts.  Most importantly, when I am grateful and serving, I can stay out of my own mind and keep my life in the proper perspective.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the inspiring message, especially amidst the concerns with your mother. I think you have the right attitude, which is, afterall, to take one day at a time. No sense worrying, and love her attitude too. Wishing you continued peace.

Syd said...

Scott, no matter the worst, you will be okay. Your mother will get the care that is needed. I have to remember that God's in charge. We take the necessary actions and then that is all that we can do.