Monday, February 20, 2012

life stuff...

I had a nice visit with mom this past weekend.  Her spirits are good and we're all expecting a positive outcome with her surgery Thursday.  I will head back up there Wed night after work so my step-dad doesn't have to hang out all day at the hospital alone, and I can see mom off to the OR and be there when she comes out.  The surgeon says that due to her age and health, she's at a very low risk for complications or a negative outcome.  I'm going with that and saying my prayers.  In the mean time, I'm continuing to hit extra meetings to keep myself in some semblance of spiritual fitness.  I just hope they are able to get all of the cancer out of her lung.

Meanwhile, my wife seems to be going through another rough patch with stress, anxiety and "stinkin' thinkin'."  I sure wish she could/would get a sponsor and hit those 12 Steps hard, along with some extra meetings.  I'm confident that she'll feel better and develop a more positive outlook.  But, she won't do it and I am not in charge of her program.  Although as her husband, I feel I have a responsibility to walk a fine line between loving honesty, and self-centered inventory taking.  Al-Anon tells me that I don't have to allow her insanity to infiltrate my serenity (easier said than done, let me just say).  However, Al-Anon also tells me that I have no right to "work her program."  So, I am blowing the dust off the "detachment with love" practice and taking care of #1 right now.  I am hoping that the dust settles, the needless drama declines and we go back to more manageable levels of insanity.  This gets so old.  I did not enjoy the fact that her psychosis found me in Toledo this weekend while I was trying to relax, take a break and focus on mom.  Ah well, there's sometimes no escape lol.

I pray this morning that I see God's will for me today.  I pray that I can be a good husband and father, being tolerant where appropriate, being loving and respectful when I must object to inappropraite behaviour.  God just help me be a good dude today.

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I'm glad the prognosis continues to look good for your mother and I'm sorry your wife is hitting a rough patch. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to protect your sobriety and be useful to others. I always learn good stuff from your posts and comments.

Hope things quiet down soon!

Syd said...

Isn't it a great program that teaches us to detach with love and to mind our own business? I do truly see how Al-Anon works in my life.