"It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombarb our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 40
This is the basis upon which I need to focus my spiritual life. I've found that when I can live my life one day at a time seeking and following God's will rather than my own, I have a life of relative peace. Stuff around me doesn't necessarily calm down, but my response to it does.
My friend MC writes about this very thing in her post here, on her blog Being Sober. I haven't had a drink or used recreational drugs in over 16 years. Yet, how much of that time have I spent actually living, being and ACTING sober? If someone I'd just met in AA were to come watch me outside of meetings, would they get the impression that I am sober? Do I truly LIVE by the principles I learned in AA? Or am I just a dry drunk, not drinking but miserable?
I know that for me, I must find peace and serenity (especially in the face of difficulties and challenges/opportunities). I didn't come to A.A. to be miserable, I came because I already was miserable. If I were still miserable, I'd more than likely find myself drinking and drugging again. It has been years (thank God) since I've come to meetings in order to avoid drinking or drugging. Now I come to meetings to maintain some sense of balance and serenity in my life.
Today, I ask God for guidance in all I do, try to see His Grace in my life and then live it out. I'll ask again later and probably again after that because I am a "slow learner and a fast forgetter." Today I know God is with me, through the Holy Spirit, through the people I encounter and in the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I merely need to remain open to His will, willing to do it and honest about myself and my motives.