stimulus... response

Well, its Friday at last!! I wish I could do better at getting into that space between stimulus and response... I have one of those jobs where its up to me to get people to get things done. I am in the real estate business, and in order for things to get done, for a transaction to be completed, a lot of folks have to do their jobs. I am sort of the grease in the wheels of progress. At least, I am supposed to be. Its truly amazing how quickly I can get irretrievably pissed when something goes wrong, somewhere along the process. Its because I am on a commission only basis, and what good alkie like to have his checkbook trifled with? If I could get better at taking a deep breath, saying the Serenity Prayer several times in its entirety a few times, maybe I wouldn't overreact so often. And then, maybe I could give old Step 10 a day or two off!!

So, what's the point?? Well, I don't even know. I guess I am just confessing a major shortcoming. I'm sort of looking back on the insane moments of this day, and days past with much chagrin. I take myself, and things so seriously... I have got to learn to just take pause before reacting. I cannot understand why I can't learn that little lesson! Ahh well, it's no good to be hard on oneself so, enuff of this...

Gratitude... today I am most grateful for:

• my sobriety, first and foremost... without that, nothing good can come of my life!
• my health.. such that it is, it could be worse...
• my wife, my son, my family
• the program of AA
• having the time or well... taking the time to sit down and post my thoughts...
• people who take the time to read them and comment
• the ability to support my family
• the fellowship of other recovering alcoholics
• the ability to work at home, and set my own hours
• having a relationship with an HP I can relate to