he he "Daddy, I am done" my 4 yr old hollars from the potty... Well, after this afternoon, when we pick Mommy up at the airport, I won't have to be as concerned with that bodily function as I have this past week. It's not that I don't take care of that stuff, he usually does that while I am at work, he he.
We have missed Mommy, but I have enjoyed having Ian all to myself. Plus, our relationship tends to do better when we get little breaks from each other every so often. Of course, I don't know if either of us did any recharging, she absolutley hates to be away from home and us and I had a pretty full week with Ian. I dunno how I feel about all of that... We've been pretty distant over the past several weeks. She has been struggling with her smoking, me with my weight. I have been busy with the new startup, although I have done fairly well at leaving 95% of that stuff at the office. So, things have been a bit strained, getting bitchy with each other, stuff like that... As an alcoholic, I have a difficult time "playing well with others" due to my self centeredness. I am definitely an isolationist who hates being alone! Try that lil paradox on for size, normal people he he! It goes right along with being an ego maniac with an inferiority complex! Not so pretty huh?? Combine that with a gal who is also self centered, stubborn and so full of fear/worry and some depression, it's no wonder we go thru some rough spots. I guess for me, I just wish I could learn to let her be where she's at and not get upset with how she acts or what she says. It's not so much as if I would liek to "change her," I know better... I just lose patience with her, and sometimes have a hard time understanding why she says and does the things she does. I am guessing this is just basic relationship stuff and we will find a way through it. I stopped thinking love and marriage was supposed to be rainbows, unicorns and violins all the time, quite some time ago... Oh, and throw a high energy terrier and a 4 yr old in the mix and I suppose we're right where we are supposed to be, he he!
Ok, not sure where all that came from... guess I needed to get that off my chest. I think I am feeling guilty for not being more excited about Mommy coming home (it's not that I don't want her to come home, I guess I think I should be more excited is all, lol). Maybe by the time we get to the airport, I will feel differently. I haven't solved anything, but I do feel better just sharing. I am going to keep trying to be grateful for the blessings in my life (there are plenty) and keep my focus on myself and my gratitude. I love the part in "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict" where Dr. Paul talks about treating Max like we treat the sick AA newcomer. I gotta remember that, cuz Lord knows, we are both still sick when it comes to relationships!