the first day of the rest of my life...

Well, I am glad mommy's home, and was very happy to see her yesterday. I was also exhausted and relieved, it was a long week! I am sitting at my desk in my very quiet office, aaaaahhh. I love my family and by the end of the day, may even miss them. But right now, all I have to say is ahhhhhhh... Thanks to those who shared their wonderful E, S & H on here yesterday.

Ok... it's time. Today begins the transformation, a day at a time to a healthier body, mind and spirit. I am at last tired of feeling and looking like I do. So, it's time to make some changes. I lost 61 lbs over about 6 mos, two years ago, by eating well and exercising. I am starting off at 255 lbs today. The first change is going to be my eating habits. I have been eating too much at a sitting and it's been some pretty gnarly shit. I like the whole instant gratification thing (don't we all??) and I have been eating to "make myself feel better" while actually making myself feel like shit in the end. Enough! No more pizza, fast food, cutting way back on cheese, no more ice cream late at nite. I can dump some serious weight just by making some sensible changes to my eating habits. So, since I am a bit unmotivated (and a little crunched for workout time) to exercise, I am going to start with something I know I/We can do. In order to pull this off, I am getting back on a spiritual approach to improving my eating. (hell, it worked with alcohol, drugs and smoking) I feel like I am playing this life-long game of Whack-a-Mole. We get drinking/drugging out of the picture, smoking pops up with anger; ok smoking is good, we lose some weight, still got anger; ok, we get the weight down, working on anger and depression, while still not drinking, drugging or smoking, and whoom: weight/eating pops back up, making the anger/depression work that much more fun! Are y'all with me here?

So, I need to get right with HP, and ask His help, turning over my eating habits to Him just for today. I am guessing and hoping and praying that the exercise will come along in due time as I begin to see the changes in my eating take hold. All of this a day at a time, for no one else but me.... Like I said, I am tired of looking and feeling like I do. When I was walking all the time, and 55 lbs lighter, I had so much more energy, felt better, looked way better... So, I did it once, I will do it again, a day at a time... I will "weigh in" from time to time to keep myself honest with you all and myself.

Prayer for the Day:

God, please help me exercise self control today as I nourish myself. Help me remember that eating is a gift given by You in order that we should have the strength to carry out Your Will.
Please remove my obsession to make myself feel better by eating things I know are unhealthy for me. Please replace that obsession with a desire to do Your Will today.

PS- MC, thanks for your blog... Your chronicling of your preparations for the triathalon have helped me to get motivated to make these changes...