Tuesday, July 18, 2006

the other end of the stick

Up early... a nice summer morning T-Storm rolling in. It's just a good thing I watered the garden last nite, lol! I am patiently awaiting for the 5 distinctive lil beeps that mean the coffee's done.

I feel for my wife, she is really struggling hard with this smoking thing. She has a smoking cessation class on Monday evenings so, normally I leave a little early in order to get home so she can go. Yesterday what with the toasty temperature and humidity, I decided to "take on for the team" he he and get home early enough to take Ian to the pool. 5-6 pm they kick out the kids who are old enuogh to be there alone. And us old timers with our kids can swim. Well, good plan. My wife had sorta warned me on the phone that she was having a rough day, smoking-wise. Well, when I got home, old Sybil was in the kitchen making tuna salad for dinner. Wow, poor gal, she was a mess... She tried to argue with about 3 different things I said, so I got me and Ian changed and we scurried off to the pool with smiles, kisses and hugs for mommy. I am just glad I decided not to pick up the other end of the stick when she shook it at me, she really didn't need me being an asshole at that moment. I remember what it was like to quit smoking. plus, this is her 2nd attempt in recent months with this class, so she is just all over herself with guilt and frustration. I have done pretty good about being very supportive. It's just sometimes, I get involved in her insanity... This time I didn't, thanks HP. When she got home from class much later, she was better... I know that "running" from a "problem" isn't the typical answer. But, sometimes, we just have to give the other person some space. And let me tell you what a sacrifice it was to go to the pool at 5pm when it's smokin hot out after a busy work day. But, I managed, HAHA!

Prayer for the day:

God/HP, I pray for Your Will today, that you may help keep my obsessions for (drugs, alcohol, smoking and eating vast quantities of food) with you today. I pray for Your Grace today for my wife, who's struggling in the grip of an awful cigarette addicition. God, please help me let her be where she needs to be, and not do anything to make things more difficult for her. Help me remeber that she is a sick person, trying to get well. Also, help me remember that she affords me the same luxry at times, during some of my magic moments. God, let me be of service and have an attitude of goodwill throughout the day.

peace to you all

p.s.- thanks for the supportive comments yesterday on the weight loss thingeee... and Welcome home Shannon! Glad ya had a good trip!



I remember one time when I tried to quit smoking.......I became the evil bitch from hell. It was aweful. I begged my ex hubby to pick up cigarettes (we were in the middle of a snow storm) on his way home from work. I think I would of thrown him on the floor and had sex with him right then and there but I wanted a cigarette first........lol.
I see you,
PS: Tell wife good luck...I'm still smoking.

Mary Christine said...

Maybe your wife isn't ready to quit. When I finally quit - after 2 packs per day for 25 years - it really wasn't that bad. Good luck staying out of that.

psychbaby said...

I'm not even going to try to quit right now. I will eventually.

Excellent for you to give her space Scott.

You know what helped me when I quit for a year? I cut drinking straws in half, and when I felt stressed and wanted a cigarette, I grabbed a straw and inhaled deeeeeeeply and blew the tension right outta me! Seemed to do the trick, for awhile anyway.

SCoUt said...

I am inspired by the fact that you didn't involve yourself and "pick up the other end of the stick." It means there is hope that I can learn not to engage in someone else's "play."
The other thing I want to know is --what are you doing up at 5:30 a.m? I thought I was the only one in the universe who got up at that time of the morning. Personally, I think it should be against the law to have to up that early for work -- now, for pleasure -- that's a different story. I can always go back to bed that way!

dAAve said...

Yeah, everything they said. Ya know, up there above me.
Except the thing about getting up at 5:30am. Rarely do I get up that late, even if I have nothing to do.
And it's always a good idea to prepare the garden for a thunderstorm by watering the previous evening. With a little more time last night, you could have washed your car too.

Sober Chick said...

Giving her space was the wise action to do. I don't see it as running away. Sometimes I get like this and Mitch walks away. It is hard for him to do this becuz he wants resolution right there and then. However I cannot tame my emotions as I wish to at times. They pass, and I am so grateful when he does not add fuel to it.

You know, after the matter it is me that ends up making an ammends for being in that place intially. So even if it is hard adding fuel to the fire leads to a big burning mess.

Good luck to you and your wife. That is tough, but not impossible. I seen it happen before.

Sending my Love!

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

Thanks for the comment about not picking of the stick. I always seem to grab hold with both hands and start swinging. I quit smoking one week when my wife was out of town, made the kids suffer it with me. They were all teens at the time.

Afterwards she accused me of insinuating that she was the cause of my smoking because I could quit while she was away. Sheeesh!!

I think we beat each other for a while with that stick.

Shannon said...

I think that you did the perfect thing yesterday Scott!!! quitting smoking is sooo hard! I smoked for only 17 yrs... I quit 2 yrs ago in june... it was hard for me, I just kept telling myself I am not going to feel like this forever, and it helped...
I will pray for you ian and wife to all feel better, oh and maybe the heat was getting to wife too?
hugs thanks for the welcome ; )