Friday, October 19, 2007

what a couple of days!

Well, after much unneccesary agonizing, I decided to just man up and go. I knew it was the right thing to do, and it was. I was nervous about seeing my family after so many years. I felt uncomfortable about what I would say, how I looked, all that stuff. I mean shit, I hadn't seen those people in over 20 yrs, some of them in 25 years.

So, I decided around 10 pm Wed nite, threw a bag together and took off for Buffalo around 5:30 Thursday morning. I got there around noon, met my dad and step mom, we changed and went to the funeral home. It was surreal to say the least. But, I am so glad I went... I hate that I spent so much time agonizing over it. I should have known better, really. But, I aint going to beat myself up over that. I got to see pictures of the happy life my uncle lived, before he passed at 51. I finally got to meet my sweet cousin. She's 25 and the last time I saw her she was an infant. Suffice it to say, she's changed! She's such a sweet young woman, smart, kind... just wonderful. No wonder her dad was so proud.

The service was simple and perfect.... just like uncle Bruce would've liked. They played Amazing Grace (father and son guitar duet, friends of the family), Auld Lang Syne (which we all sang), and after some wonderful prayer, readings and reflection on his life, they concluded the service with an awesome recording of a bagpipe band playing Scotland the Brave. needless to say it was all very emotional. There was a lot of our Scottish heritage reflected in the service and that was very improtant to him, and all of us. I got to spend some time visiting with my aunt and my cousin, as well as a few other people I needed to see. It was a very moving experience and I am glad I went.

My stuff at work as all in place (by some odd coincidence, hmmmm) by the end of biz Wednesday for all my Friday closings. Oddly enough, I never have everything in place 2 days before closings. This was the first time. Me Likey! I hope this continues to be the case with all my bank loans. Funny thing is, I didn't even know what the memorial plans for my uncle were until I got home from work Wed nite. So, thankfully, I didn't spend the day grinding my gears about getting everything done. I had just figured that i wouldn't be able to go to Buffalo what with having three loans to close Fri morning and afternoon. And here it all worked out. What a testament to HP and things happening for a reason. Thank You God for that!

Once the reception was over around 7, I followed my dad back to their hotel, changed and hit the road for home. I made it to within 2 1/2 hrs from home by the time 12:30 am rolled around so, I got a rooma nd passed out for a few hrs. I got back up early and got on the road so I could be at work with a half hr to spare before my first closing. It was like a well oiled machine. freaky... I love road trips like that, where everything falls into place. I checked when I got home tonite... 878 miles since I filled up the car yesterday morning upon departure for Buffalo, wow!


yay God! Thanks for making it possible for me to go, and thanks for not letting me screw it all up by deciding not to go. I know UB is with you now, at peace and I am grateful. 51 years was far too short a time but I think he packed way, way more than 51 yrs of living into his life. Thank you for using his departure from us to bring the family together and remind us of the need to stay better in touch. I pray that I make the effort necesary to acquaint my son with his dad's dad's side of the family, dysfunctional as we are.

peace be with you all!


Scott W said...

A fine example of the anticipation being worse than the event. It happens to me all the time. Reconnecting is so good for the soul and you seem to have been there at the right time. A most synchronistic week for you.

Sylvia said...

Glad you decided to go.

ukok said...

Scott, what I find incredible is that from Land's End to John OGroats in the UK the whole distance is 875 miles ....and you travelled more than that in just a day or two. Wow!

vicariousrising said...

I'm really glad that you were able to figure out what was best for you to do. It sounds like it was a good, albeit sad, experience for you. Some good memories are unexpected experiences like those.

The way you listen to your heart is really inspirational. The peace you have about your uncle and your family surrounding his death was helpful for me.