Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Gosh I kinda feel guilty sometimes, going on and on here about my marriage. But, sometimes it helps just to write shit down and get it out. I'd much rather do it this way than take it out on my family.

I had made some comments about my wife's inability to handle people and situations I find quite simple and anti climactic/non dramatic. And,I also shared that she'd come to the conclusion that because of this inability to handle stuff she is simply unemployable. And yea, it does piss me off, especially when she makes suggestions as to additonal things I might do to earn more income. She makes those suggestions in order to help, I am sure of that, she's never unkind, she just doesn't think sometimes. I try to keep in mind that she's obviously got something going on emotionally, spiritually, mentally, medically, hormonally... something, I dunno what but it's been going on, growing worse ever since we got pregnant with Ian. It grows worse as time progresses and its beginning to worry me some.

I have listened (cuz I know that's what women seem to want us to do when they are upset, right??), it then began to (probably not the right thing to do) change to some thoughtful suggestions on possible solutions, experiences I have had, various ideas, etc. The current manifestation of my attempts to help involve repeating some previous "shot down" suggestion in a more pointed manner, however still respectful. Per the usual routine, everything I have ever suggested has met with a laundry list of how it won't work or why it's a bad idea so, frankly, I give up. I am to the point where I am just going to try to keep my sanity and keep from trying to make things worse. I don't really know what I can do.

To illustrate... the last go round began with a cranky exchange which drew the comment " we need counselling" from her. This is the third time over the past few yrs that has been suggested. The first two times, she basically let it drop and bailed out when I pressed the idea of counselling. By the time we got done discussing things, she decided we couldn't afford counselling, lol.

It occurs to me that I am the one on anti depressants... WTF is wrong with this picture? lol I need a meeting, lol tomorrow is home group!

peace to you all, thanks for listening. I will try for something a bit more uplifting tomorrow, this is getting to be old and sophomoric of me to do all this whining, lol.

5 comments:

♥Shann♥ said...

Good Morning Scott whew thats a tough one. I will send prayers for you and her, and maybe counseling will be good... I will keep my fingers crossed for you

♥Shann♥ said...

happy 4th of July hope you and yours have a good one

Adrienne said...

Does she go to Alanon?? Silly question - I'm sure she probably doesn't.

How about your parish priest meeting with you guys?? There are also Catholic counseling services that charge by ability to pay.

Scott said...

correct, no alanon, barely makes her AA home group on a weekly basis.

All great ideas, all shot down for one reason or another, but thanks Adrienne :-)

Scott said...

thanks Shan, hugs back atcha!