well, thanks anyhow!

Thank you all for all your kind thoughts and prayers and wishes of good luck but it isn't to be. I got the call. The board couldn't make a decision over either of us so they decided not to make a decision at all based on the fact that they want someone with more commercial lending experience. I understand to a point, especially in this financial market, these days. I think they are going to hold out for a "superstar" with experience. Hey, it's their bank and their decision.

The thing is, I had my heart set on this gig. I had it in the bag, in my mind I had given 2 weeks notice and departed. The job I have now has become totally toxic. I earn well below what it takes to run my household, and we certainly do not likve "high on the hog." While I may not be perfect, or the best loan officer, I bust my ass for my company and most of all for my clients and get very little to show for it except a shitload of micro-management, and bitching about rates and closing costs. So, I know I gotta get outta there, and soon. My nerves are frayed and I am pissed or disgusted more often than not at the end of the work day.

And to make matters more fun, I had almost half my pipeline for the month blow up in the hour before I got the call. So, here I sit once again in the shitter financially, still. Needless to say, it wasn't a good afternoon. I found myself getting so upset and frustrated that I had to pack my stuff and get outta the bank. I came home and finished up there.

I know there's plenty of others who have it worse than me but right this minute, I kinda don't care. I spend a large portion of my off work hours volunteering, teaching and helping others, and I love it. Right now, I just need to re-collect myself, stay busy in the community and with my family, and literally, get the hell outta dodge. I am past the point of being able to tolerate much more. If I were making some money, I could put up with more. But I aint, and I cannot.

We pick ourselves up and dust off... When I am done lamenting my damned shitty luck where my career is concerned, I will dust off and go kick ass another day. Right now, it's time for Ian's soccer practice. I gotta fill in as coach Sat, so I gotta run.

peace