Thursday, February 19, 2009

I owe...

My wife laughed at me last nite... when I had a public epiphany in the kitchen. (she wouldn't say why she was smirking, but I know...) It had just occured to me that not only did I have class from 6:30 PM to 9:00 Thursday evening, but I also have to be at a finance committee YMCA meeting at 7:30 am and then drive almost 50 miles to the bank for work lol. She thinks I am into too many things and am too busy. She may be right, I probably have a few too many activities going on. But, along the lines of yesterday's post on discernment, I feel called to do these things.

For years, I did nothing besides work, play, feed myself and sleep. For many years into sobriety, I did nothing besides work, play, feed myself and sleep. Well a few years ago, probably about the time I began blogging, it occured to me that I probably need to start giving back some of what has been freely given me. Oh sure, I have been to a million AA meetings, shared with hundred of drunks, made tankers full of coffee... But I owe more than that. God has provided me with so much abundance in my life, even while I was still drinking and using... I had better start trying to live up to God's will for me and serve Him more, giving of myself to those around me. I had spent years taking, it was time to start giving.

So, while I may seem to be up to my armpits in stuff... I owe it to my community, my family, my God and myself to give freely of what God has given me. I am not always happy to do it, I grumble and moan. But at the end of the day, I feel good about being an active participant in life. I am now a human being, not a human doing. For that, I am grateful and I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to foster this attitude in me. I pray that I remain aware of my purpose, to serve God and help others.

peace be with you all...

2 comments:

dAAve said...

Get a daily planner.
And then, use it.

Scott said...

lol, oh I have a planner lol no doubt about that!