Sunday, November 01, 2009

fighting self-centeredness through coffee and prayer

Alright, the "I don't have a bunch of places to be this weekend" weekend rolls on! Yesterday I got one of my fishtanks cleaned, got a 5K in at the gym between the elliptical and a brief walk/jog round the track. I went to the office, took Ian and Cosmo (our insane Parson Russell Terrier) with me. I got all my radio spots written, so that was kool. Then in the evening, we all sat round and watched some Halloween cake challenges on Food Network. We seem to have developed an interest in watching these incredible pastry chefs create amazing cake and candy designs. It's actually really amazing, what these peeps can do with sugar and cake!

So today, it's on to the Honey-Do list... I have GOT to finish building my shed doors. I am no carpenter and I have been dreading this part... the doors are built but now I must attach the hinges and hang them. Ugh, I suck at carpentry and I seem to have a mental block about it all lol. I should probably call someone to come help me, but then pride steps in lol. What man of any worth, can't hang doors? lol This one!

While working out, I spent time thinking about all the people I know who have lost loved ones, beens truggling with illness or job loss. I prayed for God to be with them, give them strength and comfort. I prayed for God to show me what I can do to be of service to them. There's a prayer on my coffee mug this morning: "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove every single defect of chracter which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding, Amen." It's of course, the Step 7 prayer and can be found (not only on my coffee mug) but on page 76 in our Big Book. This reminds me of the proper use of my will, or my purpose here... to be of service to God and those around me first, then to myself. Through serving others I shall be served... "I am Third.."

I HAVE to keep others first. For this alcoholic, self centeredness and the ego mania and fear it creates is at the root of all my issues. It's at the root of why I drank and used drugs abusively. So, if I can simply spend most of my time concerned with helping God and others who need it (without looking for credit or reward) I can combat my constant desire to think only of myself and what I stand to gain. I simply MUST think of others and get out of myself whenever possible or I run the risk of spending a miserable life, and probably returning to drinking.


dAAve said...

GET somebody to help you hang those doors. You'll be glad you did.

steveroni said...

First Things First--and I ain't FIRST!

Scott M. Frey said...

amen to both of you!

Anonymous :) said...

Very nicely written. I know quite a few good men who can't hang doors.

Mary Christine said...

I hope you will get some help with those doors... this doesn't sound like stuff the "average" guy ought to know how to do.