Friday, November 27, 2009

home from our Thanksgiving trip

I am so full of emotion... It's been an emotional Thanksgiving. Our visit to my parents homes in Toledo was nice, stress free and relaxing. (My wife struggled at times during our visit but she got through it, she's glad to be home.) I am so grateful to be in a such a peaceful place with my family. I found myself getting almost weepy at times as we visited and hung out. Some friends of my family (going back to my earliest memories and thru jr high) moved near to where my parents live up in Toledo and we were able to stop and visit them. It was amazing to be able to sit in their home and visit with them.

My ex said it was kool for K and I to chat and catch up on facebook so we've been doing a bit of messaging back and forth. This is what's at the root of all the emotion and gratitude I am feeling these days. When her mom and I split, she was 2 and a half and I had a very difficult time walking away cleanly but I did it with the help of my sponsor, the Steps, meetings and a TON of prayer. I am feeling so damn blessed, to be able to get to know her and to be able to be even a tiny little part of her life. I am trying to have no expectations and take things one message, one day at a time.

I just feel as if an entire part of my life has been re-opened to me, a big part of my heart has been allowed to live again. The whole thing is a bit surreal and just very emotional.

Anyhow, I am whipped from our drive home and the shopping we did today so I ought to probably wrap this one up and try a clean start in the morning lol.


Mike Golch said...

Scott,thanks for sharing this with us.God Bless.

Lou said...

I'm glad you are taking some tentative steps to get to know your daughter. You will fill a huge void in her heart and mind. The worst part with my family was that my mother to this day will not acknowledge my real father. (She got pregnant out of wedlock at 17.) If she would have just given me some information (his name!) I would not have spent 30 years wondering..and perhaps making him into someone he was not.
I had a huge curiosity, it was such a relief to see a picture of him (my mother kept no pictures).
I think this will be so good for K. It's closure, it's a feeling of knowing the sum of your parts.

Sober Steve said...

Sounds like an awesome trip. Peace my brother!!


Syd said...

I am sure that this has been emotional but such a great thing to reconnect with your daughter. Good for you.