Sunday, December 06, 2009

the dust is settling

Yesterday was a better day at home. But the damage is done, the relationship is weakened. At least we had a pleasant day. We had to, it was my wife's birthday and I wasn't about to be a big jerk all day. That's too exhausting anyway. We spent most of the day together after I got done at the office in the morning. We went to my sponsee's home and played cards with him and his wife, another sober couple and a few other friends, it was fun and it felt good to go laugh and smile for a few hours. In the mean time, she apologized "for the other day" and I didn't really have much to say other than we're going to need to do some work to get things sorted out, but that I didn't really want to make Christmastime all insane for Ian. That was that.

My re-connection with Kayla has been going well. We've been chit chatting online frequently for over a week, she's been sharing some stuff that's going on with her and it's been interesting. She seems to trust me without hesitation, based on some stuff she's shared with me so that's good. I listen, offer much love and even a little guidance and she accepts all of that, and seems hungry for more. All things being equal, a day at a time we're making the beginnings of a relationship. As her former "daddy", it hasn't taken long and I've "re-fallen in love" with that sweet kid all over again lol. This has been a real bright spot in my life and has brought me much gratitude!

a prayer for this Sunday morning...

God please continue to remove my obsession for drinking and drugging. I am grateful to You for seeing me this far a day at a time. Please help me share Your message of hope with whomever is willing to hear it, and ready to grasp it. Please be with my niece Nat, she's really just going dowhill, destroying herself and she won't come round to reason. She needs a miracle. Thank You God for this day and all it might bring. Please be with my wife, Ian and with me today as we try to have some sort of peace in our home. I pray that you might guide my thinking where she is concerned and that I might learn how better to deal with things between us. Thank You God so much for bringing Kayla back into my life. I cannot adequately express here what I know you must see in my heart as far as my gratitude and love are concerned.

Thank you all for visiting, keep coming back :-)

1 comment:

enchantedoak said...

Your prayer was right on. I've followed along the weekend upheaval, and really all I can say is that I've been married 18 years in recovery, and for a couple of those years I wanted to walk off the set. We were powerless over each other, just powerless, angry, hard-hearted, confused recovering alcoholics. We just stayed together sometimes because of the vow not to walk away in the worse times. God, the steps, the rooms of AA, counseling, the sheer willingness to get up each day and pledge our lives to God again...that and time were the solution. I do my program, he does his, we meet in the middle, and our marriage was saved. We cheerfully give another the same loving care we would to a sick friend. Says to do that in the book. Prayer works. You change.