Wednesday, March 03, 2010

a day in the life that matters

Yesterday was just a wee bit too busy to get on here and post, bummer! Some days are like that here in our sleepy little town lol.

While "putzing" about on the other day, I stumbled across the fellow who hired me into the "big bank" a couple years ago. He also left the "big bank" not long after I did and he's working in what sounds like I much less stressful, more stable mortgage banking environment. He's offered me an opportunity to come to work for him again, with this new company. The real interesting part is that it would be a part time loan officer gig, working from home, in conjunction with my job at the Chamber. No banks, no nonsense, no shady mortgage brokers. And, I know I can trust this fellow, he's a proven winner and a straight shooter. I am going to investigate. We need another income stream badly. maybe this will prove to be the thing for us.

Kayla's 16th birthday is today. I was there, I greeted her as she entered the world. I will still stoned from my going away party in Houston two days prior, and my "smoky" drive back up to Toledo with my best friend who had come down to move me back home to live with his pregnant sister to play dad/husband. The geographic cure didn't exactly work and I remained a practicing alcoholic/addict for almost two more years. But, she got me home and that led to my recovery eventually. Six months into sobriety, the floodlight that often accompanies recovery revealed that my relationship with her mom was really a sick, co-dependant, sobriety-threatening situation and so I had to spearate myself from her mom, or risk going back out again. Walking away from Kayla after raising her to two and a half years was one of the toughest things I have ever done. I promised her mom that for Kayla's sake I would stay away so we didn't mess her all up. I kept my promise until Kayla found me on Facebook 4 months ago.

Now we text, I've been out to visit her a few times. It's amazing to see how she's grown, it's sad to see what she's into but I am grateful we're able to be in touch now after all this time. Today she turns sweet 16 and this is some sort of mile marker, or maybe reminiscent of an old mile marker I don't know. But today marks one of those important days in my life. It's a bittersweet reminder of my disease but also a success of my recovery. Now I can be a positive influence in her life.

Heavenly Father, thank You for this day. Thank You for the gift of Free Will that has enabled me to choose the paths I've trodden. I chose to come be with kayla and her mom and even though it didn't all work out at the time, You've given me a precious gift in Kayla. Please use me to help her in whatever way You see fit. I pray that I remain open to Your Will, where this and everything else in my life is concerned. Please help me by removing my obsessions for all my addictive behaviours, that I might grow closer to You through prayer, mediation, discernment and following Your guidance.

1 comment:

drybottomgirl said...

I loved your story. My own son will turn 16 in a few months. I have been drinking since he was 2 and he was one of the first people I told I was going to AA. He is one of my biggest supporters. I admire your journey, and glad I found your blog.